Coping With Anger by Truly Understanding Love and Fear

By not coping with anger it certainly gets out of control and often becomes harmful. Not controlling anger can lead to adverse problems in life, and quite often is the main ingredient in marital or relationship struggles.

Anger destroys the all-around quality of lives.

How can anyone be partly angry and believe they are controlling anger?  Does a smaller attack mean you are coping with anger, giving it less meaning and make it less volatile? 

When we are angry in any degree, I’m sure you will agree, we are not coping with anger. It is still anger, and keeps us from everyday miracle manifestation–and moving forward with a successful life.

Who wants to be stuck in anger all their life?

We love the idea of making wholeness, so we piece together fragments as if a puzzle, in a seeming effort to gain wholeness.  Our intentions are good.  This is how we can believe we are only a little bit angry, as though we’re preserving the rest of ourselves as maintaining our good intentions.

Regardless of the size of our anger, though, attack is attack, and whether physical, verbal, or in thought, we must let go of it entirely.  Fear and love are what either make or create

Understanding love

We make lives for ourselves out of the fear of being nothing or having nothing, and not understanding love.  Or we make a life by only getting by, surviving.  But we create out of love, regardless of what we have.

A Course in Miracles teaches us that, perfect love casts out fear.

This will depend on whether the ego is begetting, or the Holy Spirit is inspiring.  The ego begets, or fathers itself, by denying wholeness.  This is why the ego-based mind interprets “God gave His only begotten Son so that He may save the world” as a sacrifice or a loss. 

But the Holy Spirit doesn’t see it this way, through Christ vision.  His interpretation of “begotten Son” means fatherhood by wholeness, so that we, ourselves, may awaken as His only Son in wholeness, just as we were created. 

A Course in Miracles states, “Fatherhood is creation. Love must be extended. Purity is not confined.”

Controlling anger

An awakening of all individual minds, including Jesus’, as one mind, not a body, following Jesus out of the dream of separation: This is what will save the world.

As you contemplate the Truth in this, also see that a loving mind cannot accept attack and this is how we may begin coping with anger, because the thought was never created. 

It’s not a real thought, only a dream of separation ego-based thought. 

The mind that accepts attack cannot love and wishes to destroy love, only because it can’t even begin understanding love.  What it does not understand, it fears. 

Therefore, not understanding love, it can’t perceive itself as loving. It only dreams about love—a fantasy.

This, of course, is the part of each one of us that is illusory.  This is a belief that there’s nothing to be other than a body, which is not capable of love. 

Such a belief leads you to confusion with no sense of what is real or unreal, and understanding this helps us to begin coping with anger.

More on this in the self-help library.

(By the way, if this article left you wanting more information on this matter, I suggest a related article where I discuss overcoming limiting beliefs.)

To understanding love,

James Nussbaumer

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