What are the essential ingredients in an ideal relationship? Have you ever thought, can I save my marriage through material possessions? A number of the women considered bigger houses with bigger kitchens and the best appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, or more vacations to the beach.
But the treasured pleasures in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with items they used in their lives really meant unconditional love.
Words such as reliable, dependable, and comforting were used.
A number of men in the group thought of their motorcycles, antique cars, golf clubs, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their music collection, favorite chair, or favorite fishing spot.
To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with these objects or people were easy and rewarding to maintain.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog, Cinder, who is now long gone.
My dog had very simple needs, requiring only food, love, and shelter, and I never need to worry, can I save my marriage, with my Black Lab, Cinder.
Oh my, she was such a trusted friend!
What I’d just mentioned above was from in the middle of a workshop recently, where a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship, and what is needed when we’re up against, can I save my marriage.
We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship which made it ideal.
I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. I call this unconditional love.
What is unconditional love, and does it lend marriage help?
(Here’s more blog material about marriage guidance counselling and marital therapy helping heal relationship issues.)
It is possible to not like your spouse or not like what they are doing and still love them.
Keep in mind that the Course in Miracles teaches, “Love knows no bodies, and reaches to everything created like itself.”
It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage is at, but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
This is unconditional love, and usually is best marriage problem advice.
Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without conditions. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love, and never worry over, can I save my marriage.
You still love them.
You love your spouse because of those imperfections rather than in spite of them.
Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love?
We all clutter our lives with thoughts and tribulations, emotions and trials, and there is the temptation to let our issues about can I save my marriage, become bigger than they really are and rule our lives.
The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay.
Marital Advice for Closeness is in Unconditional Love
That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections that people have.
If you are serious about marriage conflict advice, because perhaps you’re being haunted by thoughts of, ‘desperately trying to save my marriage,’ the key is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to one side.
Yes, I mean let the Light of your unconditional love shine through.
Above all of this is the love you have for your spouse, the love you have for one another, and it’s what makes you whole rather than separate.
The Course in Miracles states, “Love is not learned. Its meaning lies within itself.”
When you think of, can I save my marriage, try to shift to a more whole-minded or whole-hearted way of seeing your partner.
See him/her as-one with you.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally, because you can’t afford to give your marriage less than it deserves.
You have to learn what it takes to shine forth when you think, can I save my marriage.
(Here’s a suggested related article on relationship advice for men and how to improve your relationship and connecting with your partner mindfully.)
To relationship healing,
James Nussbaumer
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