Marriage conflict advice may lend some marriage help. Even those of us who are better equipped than many others are not immune. This happened to me one weekend a few years back, and until to be quite honest, it took me by surprise.
My now, ex-spouse, when we were at each other in the ‘war of the roses,’ so to speak, told me something that really hurt my feelings, and I automatically lashed back in defense.
Marriage advice for closeness can be used by the best of us.
Communication in marriage is such a fickle thing, and the lines of communication can become blurred every so often, especially when love and feelings are involved.
Even those who think that they are immune to the confusion of conflict can find themselves drawn into a communication breakdown when they least expect it, and chaos ensues.
It all came out in a marriage conflict advice appointment with a counselor, and was a silly argument, over something as simple as a misplaced golf club.
To me, it represented something much deeper that had been simmering away for a couple of weeks.
I get frustrated at having to search for something when it is not where I expect it to be.
But worse yet, she had sneakily shifted it and I didn’t know the first place to begin searching.
When you think, I’m Desperately Trying to Save my Marriage
(Here’s an appropriate related article on remaining in love is more difficult than falling in love. Perhaps you’re seeing signs she’s seeing someone else.)
And can you guess the answer I got from her, for her marriage problem advice, to me? “You need to open your eyes more and organize yourself better”
My spouse felt guilty at coming home every night to the perfect household, where I felt guilty if it wasn’t perfect. And this is where the communication fell down.
The Course in Miracles states, “The body will remain guilt’s messenger, and will act as it directs as long as you believe that guilt is real.”
Surely there’s more to that principle, but it’s good food for thought of the things that occur when we’re far too focused on the body as who we are.
I see this as a fundamental part of my role in coming home first, and it takes a lot of my time.
To imply that I have the time to “organize yourself better” really hurt, and is what I relayed to the marriage conflict advice counselor.
We got it sorted out, and hugged and kissed, but there was still that pleading going on within me, to myself, of, “I’m desperately trying to save my marriage,” if you know what I mean.
It wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t feel such love at the same time. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own emotions that you forget to think of the other person.
When people feel guilt or stress, it leads them to act funny ways. Often stress and guilt are barriers to communication, and this surely is when you should seek marriage conflict advice.
Communication for Marriage Help
We both need to talk about our feelings more, and how each of our contributions to our home and our relationship make us feel, and how we interpret each other’s contributions.
Just because something isn’t spoken about, doesn’t mean it’s not important. A relationship or marriage is not a competition, but for many couples it feels like it.
The Course in Miracles reminds us to, “Look at the picture. Do not let the frame distract you.”
I was gutted. When I come home from work I seem to like to cook dinner so that it is on the table by the time my partner gets home.
The house is warm and the kitchen smelling great, as I’m very conscious of coming home to a cook a great dinner for the two of us.
I don’t expect praise, but I did hope that my efforts were recognized.
I got told that “I don’t expect you to cook my dinner every night.”
But I guess, me being a guy, that was interpreted by me as ingratitude, and hurt me even more.
A good lesson to learn in marriage conflict advice, even for the experts,’ you may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your marriage problem advice!
Don’t be shy, and seek out the BEST information now!
Commit to the whole package that gives you REAL results, and wonderful marriage conflict advice.
But that’s okay, and why you should consider marriage help with some type of counseling, even on the web are great courses.
(Here’s a related article with marriage advice closeness after retirement to avoid divorce and retirement depression.)
To relationship healing,
James Nussbaumer
PS: I invite you to sign up RIGHT HERE for the EVERYDAY MIRACLES newsletter where we (you the reader, and I, the author) bring our mind together for self-success and a better world.
See what others are discovering!
It’s for a wonderful life lived
See more at the Home page or About/Books on my ever-developing series for having a better life—reflections of A Course in Miracles, or see the display at Ozark Mountain Publishing Co.
Please Support My Work: Many have benefited from this material and we are offering you access to my blog, self-help library, other articles, webinars and lectures and for A Better Life Podcast.
By the way, if you’d like to get a copy of A Course in Miracles, hop over to the Self-Help Library page. 🙂
Thank you so much for your support!