Are you of the many people world-wide who suffer from anxiety when engaging with others?

I mean like when joining a party or relating with people?

When you feel this anxiety in social scenarios, when connecting with others, what is going on here?

What is this experience we call stress and anxiety?

Ok, you being in a meeting, leaning back in the stiff chair and secretly fearing the possibility of being singled out by a manager or colleague, what are you actually afraid of?

When you loaf holding a glass of wine at a dinner party or leaning against the corner of the crowded counter at your local bar, what is the worry that is running through your head?

What are you so anxious about when you suffer from anxiety?

Concern # 1.

What is that voice stating?

What is that voice inside your head saying?

You can learn by listening to it, journaling it or sharing it verbally with someone you trust.

As you get to know more plainly what that voice needs to say, see if it generally boils down to the worry of being evaluated by others, the worry of looking bad in their eyes and looking dumb based upon what you do or say in front of them.

When you begin to notice that the voice seems to be particularly preoccupied with what others are thinking of you and your actions, ask yourself this simple concern: Why does what other people think about me matter so much?

Could it be you might be placing others above your own real desires without questioning the reasoning and function of it?

Question # 2 for when you suffer from anxiety: 

Is what others believe crucial?

What if what others think is not important?

If you didn’t care what other people believe, would you feel anxiety in social circumstances?

Why might what others believe not be necessary?

Maybe due to the fact that we can never ever know what others are thinking about us.

Perhaps due to the fact that others are not truly considering us– they are thinking about what we are considering them.

And, as we understand, we are not thinking about them. Because we are too busy thinking about what they are considering us.

I also suggest this other related article all about: why our minds typically appear anxiety filled with recurring fears that learning how to listen to your inner voice may heal.

There is truly no method for us to understand what other individuals are believing of us.

So why chase after stress and continue to suffer from anxiety?

Why utilize it as a criteria for how we act and how we feel? If it’s impossible and so elusive to figure out?

That seems like a recipe for failure. How can we ever succeed at something that is impossible to understand?

Question # 3 about your stress levels.

What is the point of human interaction?

And who ever stated that the point of human interaction was to look great’?
What if the point of human interaction was to share our experiences? What if it was just to link? Not to look best?

What if looking perfect was a barrier to our human connection?

What if our desire to look best was in fact obstructing of why we interact with each other in the first location?

What if there was a deep, natural and stunning experience waiting on the opposite of our self-regulated rules? If we would just release?

What if human interaction was supposed to be untidy, creative or unpredictable?

Concern # 4 about your tension and anxiousness.

Why is your natural reaction not perfect?

Who said that if you acted absolutely 100% natural, that there would be anything foolish or incorrect or bad looking about how you reacted?

What is inherently wrong with who you are?

With how you act?

Now when you start to hear that voice within your head stating, ‘You look silly. Why did you say that? They must believe you are an idiot,’ you will have a resurgence.

You can say to yourself, ‘I’m just human and I do not need to suffer from anxiety.

Not perfect. The point is not to look good, however to become aware of others experiences and enjoy the interchange.’

Hey, give a good old college try! 

You might not think it yet– however just start by questioning the assumption that what others believe matters. Which you are supposed to look excellent.

Not to look best?

Now when you begin to hear that voice inside of your head stating, ‘You look silly. They must think you are an idiot,’ you will have a return.

You can say to yourself, ‘I’m just human. The point is not to look excellent, however to hear about others experiences and enjoy the interchange.’

Here’s another suggested thought provoking article on: Let’s now look at stress healing techniques to where anxiety and tension don’t rule your life. 

All my best,

James Nussbaumer

PS: Feel free to visit the rest of my blog where you can search for even more detailed ARTICLES of Interest.

See more at the Home page or About/Books on my ever-developing series for having a better life.

As well, feel free to search the self-help library, other articles and lectures, and more, also for A Better Life Webinars.