All decision making under uncertainty we have about ourselves is frightening, and is certainly not a very secure feeling.  That doubting Thomas in us all seems to get in the way. Why is this self-deception controlling us? 

In book 1 of the series I really dive deep here…Because it is self-deception at a magnitude that can hardly be conceived. 

Deception is always an edgy feeling, let alone the vastness of our own deceiving and surely not of the ways to handle anxiety. 

To be alive and not know yourself is to believe you don’t exist.

And in book 2, the sequel, I help you…Remember, you make decision making under uncertainty a frightening question when you see yourself as only a body. 

Think about it.  What really is life, except to be yourself?  What else but you can be alive?  Or, how can anyone else be alive without your existence?

A Course in Miracles states, “The body is outside you, and but seems to surround you, shutting you off from others and keeping you apart from them, and them from you.”

Our Doubts

Holding that thought, consider the sounds Mother Nature makes, say, deep in the woods, with no one around to witness the beauty. 

If there is a babbling brook flowing and trickling over rocks echoing in that wilderness, bouncing off trees, with no human body present, does the brook really speak or sing?  Additionally, is the brook really flowing? 

Finally, is there really a brook?

When you doubt something and caught up in decision making under uncertainty, as we all do, who is the one being the doubting Thomas? 

What is it that this “doubter” is doubting?  To whom can this doubting Thomas raise this question, and who it is within yourself that can answer?

Of course, you might be saying to yourself that you are the doubting Thomas, and that it is simply you who is not being your true self, and why you can’t find ways to handle anxiety and all that goes with doubt.  

If this is so when decision making under uncertainty is necessary, then you must be something else. 

This “something else” becomes the questioner of what things are.  A Course in Miracles helps us see why…Yet he could never be alive unless he knew the answer. 

If he asks as if he doesn’t know, it merely shows he does not want to be the thing he is.

What I mean is that he has accepted it because he does truly live, but has judged against it, denied its worth, and decided he doesn’t know the only certainty by which he lives. 

He must exist in order to begin such decision making under uncertainty decision.

(Here’s more on where to find peace of mind especially in decision making, and how to get over depression and anxiety.) 

Now he becomes uncertain of his life, for what he is has been denied by him. 

I discovered through real manifestation of Self, and I mean that, because of this denial, you—the real you—needs Atonement. 

This means you need some serious undoing of errors in thinking, or what is called wrong-mindedness, because your denial has made no change in what you are.

Your mind has been split from a part that knows, and into many fragments that do not know, the truth. 

There truly is no doubt you are yourself, and yet you doubt it.  But you don’t ask what part of you can really doubt yourself over decision making under uncertainty.

 It can only be the true part of you that asks the question, because it asks of the One Who Knows the answer.  But believe it or not, only you have the knowledge of this “One.”

This may seem confusing, and rightfully so with ego-based defensive thinking. 

The likelihood of getting egoic feedback is the reason I ask that you travel with caution on this stretch of the thinking road.

Be quiet, listen and tap the power within.

Awakening

But I can tell you, as I have learned, Atonement is the only remedy to this strange idea of being able to doubt yourself—being unsure of what and who you really are. 

But what is Atonement in this regard?  How do we use it as a remedy?

First of all, Atonement is the clearing away of the errors, or the wrong-mindedness, we live by. 

Then it is the acceptance or awakening that this is the path to healing our separate identity.

Here’s a related article about how to get over the aged-old question, “Why am I here”, and letting go of fearing future or regretting the past: 

To your deception free Self,

James Nussbaumer

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Here are the first two books of my ever-developing series—reflections of A Course in Miracles:

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