The fear of intimacy or emotional inward connection is among the most common fears we humans have.
But I do mean to say, too, that wonderful sexual and intimate times are the best times we ever have.
Nothing else actually comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest ideas and sensations with another. I mean, of being deeply seen and understood, of sharing love, passion, laughter, imagination, and/or pleasure.
The idea of intimacy itself brings us as close as possible to inner Spirit.
Consider this spiritual metaphysical principle from A Course in Miracles:
- “The holy relationship, a major step toward the perception of the real world, is learned. It is the old, unholy relationship transformed and seen anew.”
Why, then, would somebody have a fear of intimacy?
It is not actually the intimacy itself that individuals fear. They would have no fear of it if individuals could be ensured that intimacy would continue to be a favorable experience.
What they fear is the possibility of getting hurt as an outcome of being intimate with another.
Many individuals have two significant worries that might trigger them to prevent intimacy: the worry of being rejected and facing that rejection– of losing the other person.
Likewise, the worry of being entrapped – of being attacked, of being controlled and losing oneself.
If one individual shuts down, the other might feel rejected and ended up being judgmental.
I am saying, which might activate the other worries of being dumped, or on the other hand being loved too much, and so on.
When the fears of being shut off or rejected end up being too great, an individual may decide that it is simply unpleasant to be in a relationship.
This is when they prevent sexual and emotional intimacy altogether.
Here’s another suggested thought provoking article on: explores why they both use one another to feel worthy and any real power of sex doesn’t exist.
Preventing relationships leads to isolation and absence of emotional and spiritual development.
Relationships use the most powerful arena for individual development, if we accept this difficulty.
What moves us beyond the fear of intimacy?
The worry exists, not due to the fact that of the experience itself, however since an individual doesn’t know how to manage the situations of being turned down or controlled.
The secret of moving beyond the fear of intimacy depends on developing an effective loving adult part of us. Yes, that discovers how to not take rejection personally, and discovers to set proper limitations versus feeling trapped.
When we learn how to take individual obligation for defining our own worth rather of making others’ love and approval responsible for our sensations of worth, we will no longer take rejection personally.
This does not imply that we will like rejection– it implies we will no longer be afraid of it and have a requirement to avoid it.
When we learn how to speak up for ourselves and not permit others to get into, smother, control and control us, we will no longer fear losing ourselves in a relationship.
Lots of people, horrified of losing the other person, will give themselves up in the hope of controlling how the other person feels about them.
They believe that if they adhere to another’s demands, the other will love them. Losing oneself is terrifying, so many individuals remain out of relationships due to this fear.
The worry would disappear if they were to learn to define their own worth and stand up for themselves.
Anybody can discover this six-step process and, with practice, heal fears of intimacy.
Through practicing the Inner Togetherness that involve bonding you discover value who you really are. Yes, and take full responsibility for your own feelings of worth, security, delight, discomfort and security, and love in your heart.
When you deeply value yourself, you do not take rejection personally and end up being non-reactive to rejection.
You can start to discover the effective Inner Togetherness and Bonding process now by checking this video here.
Moving beyond your worries of intimacy will open you to the deep individual and spiritual growth that relationships can provide. Sure, and the extensive satisfaction and delight that caring relationships can use.
It is not actually the intimacy itself that individuals fear.
If people could be ensured that intimacy would continue to be a positive experience, they would have no fear of it.
When the worries of rejection and being dumped become too fantastic, a person may decide that it is just agonizing to be in a relationship and they prevent intimacy altogether.
What moves us beyond the fear of intimacy?
Anybody can discover this process of letting go of these fears and, with practice, recover fears of intimacy.
I also suggest this other related article all about: So let’s consider signs she or he is committed by a Love Test – Do You Need Intimacy?
All my best in life and love,
James Nussbaumer
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