There has never been a better time to end and yet try to heal the heartache of an unfulfilling marriage. You can rebuild the happiness and close connection, thanks to the life-changing techniques available for spotting signs of a bad relationship.
Is it the same when we feel disappointed or let down by our partners?
In taking some meaning from the hurt you feel at being disappointed in signs of a bad relationship where there is an unfulfilling marriage, a friend and colleague shared the following insight:
It’s easy to when the world around you, say your marriage is in good health is prospering, and when your fortunes turn and your world is in hardship, how you interact within your marriage can often paint an altogether different picture.
You feel disappointment so keenly because you love people, and love is also what keeps us coming back for more. It keeps us trying to do things better, and helps us to keep trying even when we feel let down.
You set standards of behavior for yourself and set the same high standards for those around you, and are disappointed when they let you down.
I think the world of my friends and don’t like seeing an unfulfilling marriage.
Let’s Consider the Unfulfilling Relationship
In taking a closer look, we realize that wholeness and unity is part of what love is about.
Do we feel disappointment or hurt so deeply, because we put our partners up on such a pedestal and expect them to always get it?
In many cases, the disappointment you feel is in your perspective of the situation.
We love our friends, but the real test of a friendship or relationship is when, in times of crisis, we feel let down or disappointed in our loved ones or the outcome achieved.
When we are able, we feel a sense of togetherness to share our feelings with others.
This was perhaps a little more complicated than I had anticipated, and it made me wonder whether the fault was on them for not living up to our standards or expectations, or whether our standards were in fact what was at fault.
Is it fair to expect the same level of respect and love that you offer so freely to those that you love?
The Course in Miracles teaches that “Love is all we truly are.”
How we feel about those we love can have a huge impact on the health of the relationship, much like a relationship with a friend.
Marriage, like life, is a cycle of downs and ups.
I tell myself that I must lower my expectations of others and that I will do so in what they expect of me, but the reality is that I seem unable to do so.
Sharing our feelings of connection with others, and letting them know that what they do is valued.
How do we let go of the hurt in an unfulfilling marriage?
It’s about getting to know each other better.
Is there a Point when to Consider How to Leave a Relationship?
(Here’s more material I suggest about if your spouse says, ‘I have fallen out of love with you,’ don’t panic, but it is time to get help for how to save a marriage in crisis.)
Some would say that an unfulfilling marriage is lacking unconditional love which is giving love without the expectation of reciprocation.
It doesn’t make it any easier.
In talking to a partner about your feelings and what leads you to feel these feelings is a valuable part of intimacy. It’s about helping your partner see why you feel the way you do.
There is also the fear that your comments can be taken the wrong way, or that they can be used against you or interpreted as a criticism.
It’s not about harsh judgmental criticism, and this surely will not help heal an unfulfilling marriage.
Part of loving those around you is being aware that they share the same values as you, and that when you need it, they will be there to support you.
Telling your partner about your expectations and feelings is a hard thing to do, and exposes you to a certain amount of vulnerability.
Is a Relationship ever Perfect?
The Course in Miracles helps us understand why we need to be certain to keep in mind realizing that loving someone is about loving them even when they let you down.
It may not be perfect, and it feels scary, but that is one of the most valuable parts of this message, especially if you’re thinking when to leave a relationship.
It’s about helping communicate a part of what makes you tick.
Remember, if you’re in an unfulfilling marriage seek out more tips about unconditional love and developing greater understanding of what it truly takes to create and foster a loving and healthy marriage.
Knowing that quitting isn’t an option, and that the benefit of hanging in there is going to deliver benefits to both of you is what keeps many people going.
(This related article answers to Can I save my Marriage through unconditional love.)
To relationship healing,
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Thank you so much for your support!