Blaming Others and Blame Shifting in Relationships: How to Understand This

While it’s definitely real that life provides all sorts of problems for us we much of the time are caught up in blaming others.

This worry over what others might think making you place blame only holds you back in life from your dreams.

This gives us numerous problems, and also indisputable the discomfort in trying to live the life we want.

Blame turns into guilt and can be specified as holding others in charge of our tragedies.

Some individuals cast out their own parents.

These adverse connections, socio-economic drawbacks, or various other life challenges haunt us.

I mean as the factor for their worry as well as absence of wanting more out of life. 

There are imaginary benefits to victim-hood, as finger-pointing gives practical validation.

Yes, I mean forever’s unsuitable problems, like not living the life want; we tend to like to always blaming others.

Perhaps you’re blaming others for your actions that lead to you blame shifting in relationships.

Keep in mind as you proceed here that A Course in Miracles gives this spiritual metaphysical principle:

  • “The idea of orders of need, which follows from the original error that one can be separated from God, requires correction at its own level before the error of perceiving levels at all can be corrected.”

Blaming Others and even Blaming a Snake

Let’s go deeper here and take a look at always blaming others, just for you to sit back and ponder.          

For reasons of the ego-based mind, which is that fearful and doubting aspect in us all, we will start blaming others.

I mean we fight what feels natural and blame unnatural events.

Since time began the ego in us, which we made, has tried terribly hard not to feel the wholeness about ourselves.

Well, that’s because of individual fears and doubts.

It’s the fear of God, which for eons plus a zillion years, has been an antic of the ego. I’m saying, leading ourselves to believe we are sinners.

The guilt for separation is the illusion that began all other illusions since that single errant thought of fantasy, back at the Garden of Eden.

It was that first “bite out of the apple.”

The ego continues to defend itself, and to this day continues to “blame a snake” for its own error.

Blame Shifting in Relationships

Yes, even a snake was blamed at the story of the Garden of Eden.

The strategy of criticizing or others has actually occasionally been called predicting or assuming the blame.

The term as a quick note comes from psychology and also describes among the automated psychological actions.

I mean conceived by typical philosophers as vanity defense reaction.

The reasoning behind that concept is that in some cases people automatically “job” onto others inspirations.

Or, purposes, or activities that they really feel they need to nurture themselves. Yet which they usually in the heart really feel much tense based on guilt. 

(Here’s a recommended relationship related article I feel is helpful on having a great relationship. It’s about aiming for love and relationships and truly wanting it to be a successful relationship:) 

Yes, when blaming others or excuse is not necessary.

Rather than just letting go of the error, the ego has conjured up a world of sinners. Likewise, preaches to save them.

It goes to these extremes so it can fight for its domain till the bitter end.


It is only to protect and maintain its identity as being separate from God.

But why do we wish to be separate in thought from God?

Look around you and what do you see?

Is there a world of unrest and unsettledness?

The ego in us all is afraid, and fears God because it doesn’t know what to expect.

The guilt for believing in separating is so thick it has blocked our memory of the beauty and the wondrous love of union with God.

We’re afraid of going to Heaven.

You see, at least here on earth we do have uncertainty and unsettledness that gives us the hope of an ultimate salvation.

Because of the thick fog blocking our memory of God where blaming others occurs, something is happening.

We have a way onto hope.      

To let go of the fog, the uncertainty and the blame, as well as the entire formula for our guilt, would cause the ego’s disappearance and our hope, we think.

This is why the ego thinks it is absurd to be of the same mind as God.

This is why we’re taught that God is located outside of us and why we fear to think otherwise.

We make jokes about the eternal and put up a brave front, a façade, to make it seem like we don’t take it serious.

But in truth, and not at all that deep within us, we indeed do know there’s more to the story. Yet, and are too timid to discuss it.

Why can’t we just nip this thing in the bud, and awaken?

The answer is quite simple.

You see, it’s because the eternal is what we truly are. And is a freedom that is our free will, and in which the ego pushes us to resist.

So why do you resist, leading to things like blaming others for your actions?

Because our true calling or free will awakens us joyfully, bit by bit, slowly from the dream of separation.

It’s where we start realizing how ridiculously fearful over nothing we’ve been.

This worries the ego in the fact we may not need to rely on its preaching any longer. The ego would lose control and become silenced and begin fading away.

We use our bodies as barriers for our own resistance, backed by a belief that our desires, ambitions, and goals.

This, which we made from the original separated thought, will enable us to forget what we really are.

We made this strange illusion of ourselves, and has been passed down to us for centuries.

It’s wishful thinking to win over, or be against what we truly are, and at a cost.

But you can begin now to overcome this illusion.

How you may ask, by beginning in this instant to live the life you want in this world, regardless of life situations.

(I also suggest this related article about: Let’s Know Your Why in life by looking at my X, Y, Z of finding your purpose in life and living your life mission with pure passion!) 

To the life you want to live,

James Nussbaumer

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