Can’t forgive or having a hard time at trust in relationships?

Often times, in the middle of a crisis, we just are not aware of how to forgive.

It might be a marital relationship in difficulty or otherwise. There is a propensity to end up being uni-dimensional. And the crisis infects the area enabled– all life.

While it might not look like it, the option for recovery remains in your hands. The situation will pass.

Will your relationship be much better at the end of it?

Your crisis is one part of your life.

Wherever you are, whatever has actually taken place, today begins a brand-new journey. Every day is a brand-new chance for a fine and wonderful new journey.

So let’s learn to let go of as much ego-based thinking as possible while we we’re here on Earth.

I’ll explain some below where I’ve embedded a recent for A Better Life Podcast to help see more about what I mean.

 

 

The human consciousness is ego-based—meaning built on fear, doubt, and judgement. It has a hard time living in the present moment.

Therefore forgiveness for we humans is hard to practice.

The ego’s idea of forgiveness is the language part of our consciousness that has an especially hard time living in the present moment or the now.

This is why I urge some kind of mindfulness training!

Consider that between the time when we forgive and the time when we actually feel as though we can trust in relationships. We seem to insert an interval of space. 

Overcoming can’t forgive is where real miracles are manifested!

I mean that, we are taught to forgive followed by allowing a period of time to do its work.  What could this “work” possibly be, that this interval of time is intended to inspire? 

In reality, all it is doing is enforcing our feeling that there is still something we need to withhold from our brother. Thereby we maintain the space that keeps us separate.

By the way, here’s a related article on how to begin fixing a broken relationship with love advice for inner healing:

From this perception, you cannot conceive of gaining the peace or freedom you were taught that forgiveness will give you. 

Therefore there is no gain, and the interval you think lies between the giving and receiving is experienced as a feeling of sacrifice and suffering.

That is due to the anxiety that was built.

When we can’t forgive it can look like this: “If I do this favor for her now, how long will it be till she reciprocates, if at all?”

This ego-based thought process has us seeing a hopeful or an eventual salvation, rather than immediate results. 

We are trading a perceived loss for a perceived gain some time in the unspecified future.

Let’s think for a moment what A Course in Miracles states.  “Time and space are an illusion which takes different forms.” 

We see the time as a possible “cooling off” period. Or a time to “gather one’s thoughts,” and then, when time comes in closer, we start to see it as space. 

When we can’t forgive!

When we can’t forgive the thinking seems to be, “I’m okay with her, but I just need a little space.” 

The space and time are seen as physical, which is all they both can be. But we think they are real and necessary in order to have trust in relationships.

The distance we feel when we can’t forgive that must be kept between us is perceived as time, and keeps us external to one another. 

This makes real trust in relationships impossible. 

We don’t believe total trust in relationships can solve a problem. That’s because fear is occupying the space we think we need and keeping us from maximizing potential.

Think about this: Will our nation, which is seen as the leader in the “free” world, ever trust so-called volatile countries.

We we trust them to put down their nuclear weapons?

How about as well as their research? 

This leads us to think it’s a little safer to be more watchful over our own interests, seen as separate. 

Additionally, isn’t this really the way we want it to be? 

It seems as though we feel we want or need this fear in order that we may feel strength.

When this happens, it is a huge trap or pitfall. You will never see salvation unless you can bring the idea of salvation out of the future, which is impossible to the ego. 

This is something the habits of successful people strive to get a grip on!

You will always be living for future gain and never see it as immediate if you don’t start perceiving it. And thus will be afraid to ever have true salvation. 

If you accept this trap, you will always believe the risk of forgiveness is too great for effects that you may never see, and is why you can’t forgive. 

This is how the ego keeps you from trusting in Cause, by making you fear its effects.

Here’s a related thought provoking article which helps for positive change in your life—to be enlightened: 

To forgiveness,

James Nussbaumer

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