Characteristics of a bad marriage may very well be among other topics of being married to an addict or someone with deep personal issues? You may have learned to be codependent due to your family background, and you’re crying inside for help with marriage problems.
Once you marry, it happened in your family so you tend to be attracted to the same situation of staying in a bad marriage.
You may be a codependent and this is a serious issue in families and marriages.
You may have learned behaviors for what are the signs of a bad marriage, such as making excuses, tuning out, controlling, excessive care-taking, being hyper-vigilant.
It might be because you feel that you should do something to save your family from shame or to at least diffuse the situation and keep the peace.
Because you desire to be needed and fear of doing anything that would change the relationship, you also fall prey to these characteristics of a bad marriage.
Go within yourself, and ask that you learn to see the truth of the matter.
As the Course in Miracles states, “Be willing, then, to give all you held outside the truth to HIM WHO knows the truth, and in Whom all is brought to truth.”
Staying in a Bad Marriage
Taking over the housework because your poor spouse is just too depressed to help?
Do you find yourself taking charge and bearing the burdens of the entire marriage or family?
Is your marriage or family life going through a difficult time because of problems, financial concerns, abuse, or caring for a physically or emotionally handicapped family member?
While such characteristics of a bad marriage may reduce conflict and tension for the meantime, they won’t help for the long term.
But you can get help right away, like now!
All you are doing is reinforcing the situation and even, allowing it to worsen.
You are also allowing yourself to be lost within the situation and, in the long run, may find yourself no longer able to cope.
The Course in Miracles teaches us to, “Look at the picture. Do not let the frame distract you.”
What can you do to overcome codependence in your marriage and family life?
Help with Marriage Problems
(Here’s more article material that answers to, Can I save my Marriage through unconditional love.)
More serious steps for letting go of the characteristics of a bad marriage must be taken if there is abuse in your home.
For the sake of your own self-respect and for your children, if you have any, break away from the situation.
Find a shelter or group that will help you gain your independence and help you through healing and recovery.
Your partner or family member may also need professional help, especially if they are battling clinical conditions or addiction.
Work at getting them the help they need, whether they want it or not.
There are some excellent suggestions on the web covering the characteristics of a bad marriage and, “How to support your partner with healing addictions.
You most likely will find that your partner will be more positive toward help and healing if you will support the issue, instead of scolding, harping and belittling.
Conclusion:
More often than not, these issues of characteristics of a bad marriage stem from deep seated psychological problems.
Don’t let shame keep you from seeking the help of a counselor or psychologist.
Additionally, there are programs similar to Codependents’ and Abuse Anonymous that will help you process your issues and provide you with tools how to overcome them.
Codependents need healing, too, and, once recognized, you should not allow the situation to continue.
Get help today.
Just to decide on taking action is the first step in beginning to overcome codependence, but it will require both self-help and professional help.
(Here’s a related article I suggest on danger signs in relationships fading away when faced head on by chemistry in relationships.)
To a healing love relationship,
James Nussbaumer
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