The world likes to teach us that having doubts is a signal that something is not right with this situation. Or, if it is relationship doubts we seem to learn that we should be cautious and not rush to falling in love or getting married.
Even on television news or movie drama, don’t we see that having doubts should mean that possibly someone is “up to no good” and doesn’t deserve our attention?
But hardly do we see that having doubts is a signal pointing us to look deeper within ourselves.
In a set of previous articles (which I’ve linked to one another) I discussed the woman from Croatia, named Nakita, writing to me in an Ohio prison, and inviting me to participate in a worldwide mindfulness meditation for world peace, to be held on December 22, 2010, at 9:30 PM.
I would participate from my bunk in the often violent din of the cell block.
I must say I was certainly having doubts about the validity of this event, a scam or a sort of prank, I’d think.
Relationship doubts?
Then I tossed around the idea of my relationship doubts with this woman, since I’d never even met her ever before, she writes me out of the blue, and “I’m supposed to trust her,” were more haunting thoughts.
But I wondered, “Was it really the new relationship with Nakita I was having doubts over?”
Or was it something else?
But that was until I heard some words in a conversation from other inmates that I’d taken as a signal from the Universe, or, we may say, the Holy Spirit, that this indeed must be a real live event.
So why was I making judgments and having my doubts?
Even with these good-minded thoughts and the alert signal from the Holy Spirit, or, Karma, as I’d mentioned in a previous article, I again regressed to vigilant questioning in my mind and having doubts.
This time it was over the time zones around the world.
Why had Nakita scheduled this “meeting of minds” for 9:30 PM Eastern time, which was very convenient for me?
Again, positive right-minded thinking entered my mind, suggesting, that, maybe Nakita was not the organizer of this event. It was very possible it could have been arranged by, say, an individual or group in the Far East, or even Australia.
Nakita never said she was the originator, so why was I hanging onto that notion?
My having doubts turned more toward trust when it dawned on me like bright rays of sunlight bursting through cloud cover:
Why should I be so concerned about all of this anyway?
It really didn’t matter who the organizer was, or what time it occurred.
Inner peace
With that one lasting peaceful thought I remembered a lesson from A Course in Miracles teaching that, “Time was only real in the Holy Spirit’s use of it,” and He was using it for this mindfulness meditation event.
Finally I was urged by myself to simply let go of having doubts and any negative-minded attempts to intrude on my thought process about this mindfulness meditation event, and I proceeded to set my sights on the inner peace I was feeling in general about the whole idea.
Any wrong-minded thoughts or having doubts from my ego would only block the extension of the thoughts from others, regardless of how many minds were involved in this mindfulness meditation.
It would block my joy as well, which was really most important here for me to consider. Another thought hit me that if my own joy were to be blocked, then I would perceive myself as being unfulfilled.
I went on to perceive this to be a necessary excitement for myself, there, deep in the rabbit hole of prison, one that would give me a sense of accomplishment and completion, and most of all, wholeness.
What accomplishment do I mean?
I’ll let you answer that for yourself, while you contemplate the following passage from A Course in Miracles:
- “Spirit knows that the awareness of all its brothers is included in its own, as it is included in God. The power of the whole Sonship and Its Creator is therefore spirit’s own fullness, rendering its creations equally whole, and equal in perfection. The ego cannot prevail against a totality that includes God, and any totality must include God.”
We all seem to be cautious when having doubts and fears, but the most wonderful associations we have with one another are in being honest enough to share our feelings.
To inner peace with your relationships,
James Nussbaumer
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