Fear of Commitment in Relationships: Healthy or Not?

Fear of commitment in relationships scientifically, is a kind of commitment anxiety. It is commonly called the commitment phobia, which refers to a person who is afraid of relationships and being devoted to any deep tasks, duties and projects.

But can there be a cause and effect to this commitment anxiety?

I mean as the Course in Miracles teaches, “Without a cause there can be no effects, and yet without effects there is no cause.”

I’ll explain:

Have you ever tried to understand someone who has fear of commitment in relationships?

I have had several good friends who have had the signs of this type of commitment anxiety.

The majority of them are guys.

They cannot make choices and decisions on simple things.

They discover it hard to choose what to eat while out for a fine dining event, they cannot choose between two movies to go see, even on what to wear in the morning.

Being Afraid of Relationships

Take my longtime friend, Mike, for example, who had never been involved in serious relationship, considering the fact that even back when he was in his 30’s and is a perfect marrying age for guys.

He is one of my closest good friends and had always been a bachelor with a great career and excellent income.

I believe that he has had fear of commitment in relationships. He would never accept that idea, which in truth is another characteristic of a person who has commitment anxiety.

About 20 some years ago I had this conversation with Mike:

Me: “Have you ever had a major serious relationship before?

Mike: “Nope.” He answered.

Me: “Why?”

Mike: “It’s due to the fact that I’m not willing or ready to settle down”.

Me: “What are the things that made you not willing so far to settle down? I asked again.

He simply shrugged his shoulders and paused.

Mike: “It is merely since I’m afraid to dedicate to a nice woman, and I just don’t feel a ‘readiness’ within me to get married at this time. I’m scared that I may not handle it properly and she may try to control me.

Me: “Then you are one of those who hesitate of commitments or the worry of serious obligation and commitment.”

Mike: “Am I afraid of commitment? I don’t think so …”

Let’s Consider, ‘Am I Afraid of Commitment?’

If the future is at stake, by not overcoming commitment phobia makes it tough for you to choose on whatever you need to decide on particularly any given day.

Therefore, is commitment anxiety and having fear of commitment in relationships a healthy thing, or is it not very healthy in any sense of the matter?

I’ll let you decide, here, in a moment, as I continue!

Fear of commitment in relationships can and might truly hold you back, since it is just that life needs us all to unite and be wholly committed to a world where we are all helping each other.

But could that fear perhaps be signaling something?

What I mean is, a few short years not too very long after that conversation with Mike, he met a wonderful woman, MaryAnn.

They dated, slowly, the pace picked up, or we may say, deepened, and while both Mike and MaryAnn now in their 40’s, decided to tie the knot.

Yes, the two married, the first marriage for each of them, and to this day are one of the happiest couples you’ll ever meet.

The Course in Miracles goes on to further teach us that, “The cause of healing is the only Cause of everything. It has but one effect.”

(Here’s a suggested article about, are you considering is my relationship healthy or deciding whether to stay in the marriage?)  

Healing makes Whole, Agree?

Fear of commitment in relationships might begin from childhood from which an individual suffered from distressing experience, such as separation of parents, divorce, and death.

Being afraid of relationships can also be a result of poor role models in which the person may have experienced offending relationships.

Signs of a committed relationship that frightens people can be defeated by different techniques.

The most typical technique used in overcoming commitment phobia, is learning to use your reflective state of mind powers to bring forth what you truly want in this world.

There is also hypnosis or hypnotherapy that has helped many, men’s and the well received Women’s life Confidence programs.

If you have friends who want to begin overcoming commitment phobia, you may be able to suggest or point them in the right direction.

(Here’s a related article on wow to begin overcoming fear and changing for the better.) 

To love and life,

James Nussbaumer

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