To Forgive and Move on Helps Getting Over Past Mistakes and Living with Regret

Sometimes instead of forgive and move on many like to deny problems in the dark and act like they are no big deal. 

Getting over past mistakes just doesn’t happen if we pitch them in a closet and stare at other peoples troubles. I mean, doing so as a ‘competition’ of sort as to who has more ‘dirty laundry’ to raise anxiety and worry over.

Problems are difficulties, and as a human you must learn how to make peace with your past.

You understand, for me letting go of the past and surrendering living with regret was not very easy, at all.

I had to own up to the fact that, “Indeed I have made a huge mistake that was costly.”

Several will not move forward in life by letting go of the past because they feel they must hang on to guilt.

Others state that to forgive and move on healed the feelings of guilt.

The Course in Miracles teaches that:

  • “To forgive is merely to remember only the loving thoughts you gave in the past, and those that were given you. All the rest must be forgotten.”

I’ll share in this article how for me, by letting go of the past and learning from it was a new beginning.

My experience has turned me into an author of a wonderful book series. Yes, and based on how to make peace with your past.

Many of you know my story where spending 8 long years in prison over a foolish securities violation.

My books provide the details as to my own mistakes as a financial adviser. It was a business I loathed for most of my adult life.

But this article is meant to help you open your mind to why it’s not good at all to be  lugging old weight. I mean to quit living with regret with pain and discomfort. 

Those Past Mistakes were Kicking Me

I remember being immediately haunted by a nagging voice in my head. An inner dialogue pestering me about my past errors that placed me in prison.

I scolded by myself for allowing to be taken away from that area of Florida that once owned my heart, I thought.

It was easy to find blame in others. My own self-scolding continued and didn’t even address the idea of forgive and move on.

Almost immediately before I could abuse myself further, a different voice whispered to me.

This, which was a solid thought in my mind, began gently and lovingly telling me to stop living with regret.

I was told to begin now forgetting all of the nothingness I taught myself in the past. The Voice urged me to realize I was taught by the wrong teacher. 

An inner critic making me feel guilty over the thought of, I have made a huge mistake.

The Voice added that the love I’d given and received during those days will always remain with me. So I should enjoy its memory, and this will help to forgive and move on.

I certainly hear this Voice often now, as though automatic; especially when I must forgive and move on .

Likewise, especially since I’ve come to accept It as who I really am.

Any other way of looking at this is due to placing too much emphasis on the body, as who you truly are. This holds you back from how to make peace with your past.

A good description of who I am, and with yourself, as well, would be “the Light that shines with certainty”.

This is the Holy Spirit, as the Course in Miracles terms your real inner Teacher.

As well, before I realize it, when my thinking is in trouble I am shifted from a wrong-minded attitude into a right-minded mode almost in a flash.

The right-mind is the aspect in you that senses your real loving Teacher advising you as to what do next.

Or in an instant if you will.

This path of to forgive and move on has come about for me only by trust and surrender.

I’ve surrendered my mind set to my real Teacher.

Why would I continue those old senseless lessons from the past of living with regret? The ones that do nothing other than confuse me and make misery?

My choice now is to have my True Teacher quickly help me to learn what it is He wants me to know.

This is the only way I am able to continue writing books and speaking about real forgiveness.

As well, along with sharing the many real thoughts I have been willing to extend. Yes, to the many individuals everywhere who have been confused.

Not to mention the constructive critiques I have received from others along the way.

But let’s jump back to my wrong-minded thoughts about missing those sunny days in Florida.

This occurred recently while writing this article, and other books yet to arrive.

I mean-my initial drafts while in prison handwritten into composition journals. A mind boggling task I must add, not having a computer.

As a prisoner I was not permitted such convenience. But my point is that my frame of mind immediately, without any effort whatsoever, went back on track.

I’m saying to my purpose at hand, of writing these books, and articles today. Likewise, regardless of my yearning to a past I cannot have.

But please hear me when I say that these books and articles I write in itself is not my purpose.

My purpose is trusting the Light, or the Voice, as It instructs me and guides me in the direction of living a life of reality.

The purpose instructs me how to extend myself, how to get my message across about how to forgive and move on.

Certainly, which is by writing this book series and continued blog articles while as well speaking. Sure, now, at this particular time of my life.

In a flash I was automatically released from my depressing mind wandering. And was guided back to bright, but calm, peaceful and encouraging light.

We will all on occasion experience dark times, but we don’t have to stay there long. You may reach the light by learning how to make peace with your past.

I was so surprised how easy it was to quietly and calmly just let go of the images of my old Florida days.

Even with the clanging and banging noises of prison bars, doors, and chains in the background.

All the screaming and insane, loud, vulgar inmate expressions; as a constant reminder of my physical binding, was I able to shift.

A shift quickly back to right-mindedness began accumulating and appreciating in my task. It was a joyful and pleasurable one at that.

Just as wonderful, one which is being led to pursue this direction, now.

However, I must add that most importantly the reason this is so pleasurable for me is that it completes me.

I sense wholeness. It can only be because it is an effect of a cause that is meant to be.

(Here’s another related article on: being troubled over how to move forward in life and let go of self-limiting beliefs that are strangling you.) 

In the next section let’s see why getting over past mistakes begins by a newer way for thinking.

A New Memory Must Begin

What actually created the shift easily for me was my understanding of my own willingness.

Consider this principle from the Course in Miracles:

  • “Only a constant purpose can endow events with stable meaning. But it must accord one meaning to them all.”

I have learned that when past memories of loss, hate, dislikes, regrets, or even bad luck appear in my mind, I must be willing and ready to begin a new memory.

This is not denying anything, like some individuals may suggest.

Rather than being a denial of my past, it is a willingness to remember that the cause of these negative memories was created long ago, regardless of my errors.

Then it is a readiness to accept the errors as gone by. Sure, and be glad while considering that I am pardoning myself.

That’s necessary so I can then proceed to look trustingly at new effects, and let them sink in.

Not to worry, there will indeed by consequences. But when you can follow easily in a direction as this, you’ll be elated by the consequences that do come up.

You will not be dismayed. There will be new ideas that spur on these consequences of a Cause.

One that is so powerful into action that it erases your old memory made by ego-based persuasion.

People will begin showing up to assist you with your purpose, which is because of being their purpose. There will be some reason why they needed to get involved.

This Cause I am speaking of is the memory of God in you.

It’s the Holy Spirit that shines through once you forget. Just as well, helps you to quit allowing the ego-based mind to run its way with your own remembering.

The ego-based mind is the wrong-minded aspect in us as humans based on fear and doubt, and the like.

The Holy Spirit’s memory is never past and is always of the new. Yes, being safely in your mind because He is your real mind.

Anything else is illusion, but His Memory never changes. All the consequences will only seem to be new because you thought you never remembered their Cause.

But it was never absent from your mind because it has always been God’s Will, which is your true free will.

Yes, your purpose in life.

Try to see that, what you think you remember never really was at all.

That’s because a wrong-minded separated thought, confused your state of mind with projections of the unreal. These are not extensions of the real you behind the dream of separation.

So by all means, go ahead and laugh or chuckle a bit over the senseless things. Certainly, cut it up a bit jokingly over events, and situations that once stressed you so terribly.

Like, to where at times you wished you were dead, and so on.


I hope this article does open the door just a bit for you to forgive and move on. I hope so, because isn’t it funny when you look back on these episodes?

If you don’t think they are funny, that’s okay, because I surely do not see my prison confinement so funny.

Oh my, no, wasn’t funny at all, especially while I was locked up trying to make peace with my past.

Thereby, this is why I do understand your inability to laugh at some stuff when you’re living with regret.

But do yourself a favor.

Please try as I do to at least see the senselessness, and then let them go. It’s because none of it is real. It’s been a dream!

(I also suggest another related article here on: How to get over and let go of feeling stuck in life and on to what you do want:) 

To moving on in life,

James Nussbaumer

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