Let’s discuss the first thing you must know if you want to learn how to save marriage from divorce, or how to save your marriage alone. If you’re waiting for the other spouse to make the first move is the beginning of the end.

If you are looking for someone to blame or someone else to put the physical and emotional work into saving the marriage, again, it’s going to fail.

One of the most common questions many ask when seeking free marriage help information when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t want to help find a solution?

How do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own?

Considering there are two people contributing to the overall health and well-being of how to save marriage from divorce, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and save it?

Or, worse, when it’s his, her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? Some marriage help chat lines may be of some assistance when you’re just the victim here.

The belief for how to save marriage from divorce that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating attitude.

It propagates the belief that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do for how to save your marriage alone and you should watch and stand what comes your way.

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains ‘in love’, the other is uncertain.

Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of how to save marriage from divorce and saving his or her marriage’ ALONE.

There is still something you CAN DO. Even in your loneliness and solitude, you CAN save your marriage.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly placed upon them, and when they do so, we panic.

When our partner leaves, our fears kick in.

It is very easy for us to place the blame of the other person for having made us unhappy when something goes wrong with our marriages.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment, perhaps seek couples counseling.

You can definitely NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

In starting with yourself for how to save marriage from divorce, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, difficult person to one who can provide an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication.

Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of real love.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

Thus, many of us enter relationships and marriages with the hope, plans and dreams that we would never be alone. We invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and relying on them to make us secure and happy.

For how to save marriage from divorce when you are the only one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the key is to change your attitude and focus.

Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

(If you’re like many couples recovering from infidelity and discovering next that they are in couple counseling faced with forgiving an affair, this article can be an open door for you: 

The paradox is that as we grow older in the love, trust, companionship and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings.

The Course in Miracles may help here where it states, “It is through us that peace will come.”

Ideally, the mature human person who wants peace should have developed a strong sense of self-awareness, confidence and self-esteem as he or she reaches adulthood.

As human beings, we hate being alone.

It’s part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with others, whether through friendships or romantic interest.

The way we connect with others and the nature of how we interact with people is a fundamental aspect of emotional and personal development.

For how to save marriage from divorce let’s begin first by examining what it means to be on your own.

Many of us enter into adult life without even being aware of this beautiful, human truth.

We may have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

But whatever it is, it has caused to shift from proper mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Rather than beat yourself up in desperation, and if couples counseling isn’t working, you still have options.

Here’s tips to start your own personal transformation and marriage to success:

• Breathe and forgive yourself while you examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage.

Remember the Course in Miracles teaches us the real meaning of forgiveness is “overlooking our errors which are made by wrong-minded ego-based thought, and look beyond those errors to the reality you truly are.”

• Believe that reconnection is possible, then change your attitude and smile as you let go of all the ego-based errors in thought that have bound you to guilt.

Again, the Course in Miracles teaches, “The ego establishes relationships only to get something. And it would keep the giver bound to itself through guilt.”

• Seek couples counseling for YOURSELF not just for your marriage, because you want to look after your health, well-being and beauty.

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is the type of you that would allow your partner to come back and initiate communication.

Plus, here’s one more idea for how to save marriage from divorce, and even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it in you to continue loving your partner and showing him or her that you do.

Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage.

(This brief related article I suggest proves ways to fix marriages and heal relationship issues for good.)  

To relationship healing,

James Nussbaumer

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