The power of sex and inner freedom are healing when there is true love going on under the sheets.

When we have intense attraction signs that’s a good thing according to a clinical study. But only if these physical attraction signs are heartfelt.

The wonderful sexual interaction that has a foundation of love instead of fear and doubt has the exact same advantages for healing in the body.

Yes, kinda like a great workout that gets those endorphins flowing through the body.

But in this article I want to address why sex for the wrong-minded reasons really does not even lend you the inner freedom you’re wanting.

Let’s look at why there’s no real power of sex in false intimacy.

We all search for a feeling of liberation that far exceeds the dream of freedom sometimes hoped for in special relationships.

The “special relationship” is not what you may think, where we think of “special” as fabulous and exciting and lovely.

The Course in Miracles discusses the special relationship as of the ego-based mind which projects the body based on mostly fear and doubt, judgement, and the like.

It’s a sense of actual escape from limitations. But this is not available through the body. The body will always limit you.

Wheres otherwise, the “holy relationship” is a connection with another with the wonderful sense of wholeness and at-oneness. Yes, true union and bonding.

And this may help understand further about the bonding stages.

The experience of the addiction to the illusion that sexual attraction brings with the special relationship is a flag. It’s that which signals a craving for meaning, purpose, and value.

The craving lies beneath the sexual craving from intense attraction signs.

It is the controlling impulse of false power of sex.

The Course in Miracles gives us this spiritual metaphysical principle:

• “You can defend your specialness, but never will you hear the Voice for God beside it. Specialness is a substitute for love.”

When it is not recognized, it generates sexual attractions to the same circumstance. This is weakness being drawn to weakness.

In fact, each is attracted to the other because of an inner pain that hopes the other remove from his or her life.

That is why an unreal, addictive sexual interaction is never truly satisfying. What it is not really benefits to no one.

It becomes a brief moment of relief form sexual craving, but the craving always returns.

This is the first clue that there is more involved in addictive sexual attraction than sex. That’s why its nature is illusory.

Then the individual truly feels powerless.

Of course, then, no real power of sex in the special relationship.

They will feel powerless, frightened, unwanted, unlovable, and without worth. Likewise, and see only from his or her wrong-minded ego-based thoughts and perceptions.

This part of the split-mind has a vision which is 100% from the body’s eyes. Just as well,  seeks everywhere for another who feels as powerless as he.

When he hunts down such physical attraction signs in an individual, he feels a sexual attraction.

For our purposes here, we will say that “he” is not aware of feeling powerless, frightened, unwanted, or unlovable.

He/she feels sexually attacked and that the person in front of his/her eyes has activated his attention and his attraction.

Yet something very different has been ignited within him or her.

It is the need to use another person to bring relief, even if only for a moment. It’s to the pain of feeling frightened, unwanted, and without worth.

As well, the other excruciating experiences of powerlessness.

He doesn’t realize that the person to whom he is attracted is his counterpart. He can’t see that she, too, is searching for someone to use in the same fashion.

The rock star, Bob Segar, has a popular song that says, “I used her, she used me, but neither one of us cared”.

An individual cannot see the need to exploit another in himself so he’s hot able to see “that” in the other individual.

He has become her target in the same manner she has become his. She is no more interested in him than he is in her.

If he could see through right-mindedness where spirit leads us to the holy relationship, instead, he would be repulsed and so would she.

The Course in Miracles teaches us that:

• The holy relationship rather opens our mind to choose to be with truth instead of illusion.

It is one thing to realize that the person you are with sexually means nothing to you. Likewise, it’s another to realize that you mean nothing to the person with you.

Does either, individually, care about this?

He or she cannot see beyond this craving. Or, he cannot see that she has the same intentions with Him. He is as replaceable to her as she is to him.

They both use one another to feel worthy and any real power of sex doesn’t exist.

Perhaps each of them are still searching for purpose and true passion for living.

This is the dynamic that lies beneath the experiences of addictive sexual attraction. Its illusiveness is the unreal core to wrong-mindedness.

It is the heart of the separation–meaning that the aspect of ego in we humans thinks we are separate from our Creator.

But is certainly not sinful. This error in thought is as ugly to see as it is to experience.

(Here’s how you can start learning about anxiety and relationship problems through healing with real love:) 

Next, let’s be open minded about ego exploitation with physical attraction signs. 

The Thought of Exploitation is again, a False Power of Sex

An illusory sexual attraction makes pornography magnetically attractive.

Images of individuals involved in sexual interactions replace actual sexual interactions when those are not available.

The ego-based thoughts of exploitation based on mostly fear and doubt are the same in both cases.

There is no interest in the challenges, fears, vulnerabilities, and joys of another individual. The complexity and difficulty that can hang around in human life is ignored.

Unlike the holy relationship, there is no love.

Rather, the special relationship has attention focused only on satisfying a craving and on others as potential means of satisfying the craving.

The more intense the pain of fear, unworthiness, and feeling unlovable becomes, the more obsessive becomes the need to have a sexual interaction.

When the pain diminishes, the sexual obsession weakens, or temporarily disappears. When an individual becomes stressed again, it returns.

Now they are in the depths of the fear of who they truly are. They are lost deep into wrong-mindedness, more fear and doubt piling on.

This happens to marriage partners as well as individuals not married. When fear arises, other people are always those who are equally powerless.

If you feel this the case with your present situation and needing relationship help, then go here to see a helpful related article. 

External circumstances do not matter. Intentions matter. When the intention is to exploit another individual, the attraction you feel is illusory.

There is nothing manly or womanly, macho or elegant about this. It is certainly an area where healing is needed.

When healing begins this is when wholeness begins seeking you out.

As wholeness develops and as you accept it, then fantasy seems to automatically be set aside, and let go.

In this kind of wholeness–healing of mind, we may say, is where real and true loving intense attraction signs ignite.

Searching for inner freedom then is accomplished, and it’s result is a “holy relationship;” not special–where specialness can only breed conflict.

(You may also want to checkout another related article here on: to realize that the healing power of the mind gets us to where we want to be while finding happiness in this world.) 

To success in life and love,

James Nussbaumer

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