While dealing with relationship violence is a serious issue, there are other reasons as well to consider your questioning of: am I in a bad relationship?
There are other serious signs of an unhealthy marriage that lead to loss of love where you may be contemplating, to leave or stay.
Relationship breakups arise when one or both of the couple feel the requirement to end the relationship.
People break free from relationships for lots of different occurrences, and not just infidelity or dealing with relationship violence.
Relationship separations as discussed here today take place for lots of various personal and sensitive reasons.
Often, when that trust is broken and there’s loss of love, you do not desire to be in the relationship any longer.
This is one typical factor for relationship separations, and why you should address the issues peacefully.
By not considering your struggles with one another, surely often leads to dealing with relationship violence.
Another reason for relationship breakups is distinctions.
What I mean by this is, generally when you begin a relationship with somebody, it’s due to the fact that you have at least one major yet mutual bond.
But sometimes, at a certain point something escalates between you and the other person.
In your relationship one might discover huge judgemental distinctions about you or the other person.
Things just aren’t like they used to be. Or they have changed, you feel. The relationship may wither and head into a steep decline.
As relationships mature, they end up being comfortable. And as the old adage goes; “It takes two to do the Tango.”
Even if contempt rather than love is what the Tango is about, dullness typically sets in. This fully grown relationship seems to then become a struggle.
When you are put in this situation, you find yourself having difficulty managing your relationship. Yes, your distinctions.
Since the relationship has lost its enjoyment, and then you or the other person might want out of the relationship.
The relationship might take a turn which you don’t like. Or bitterness toward your once loved one.
That’s usually when the relationship will start to sour.
The biggest factor and reason for relationship breakups is of course loss of love.
Often, even if things appear to constantly be right, when love leaves, relationships naturally fade to a bitter end.
It is real that many of the time love is why the couple got into a relationship to begin with. However it likewise is the factor why couples drift apart.
Relationship breakups and signs of an unhealthy marriage seem to appear when love is lost.
And then you or the other person begin to question deeply: am I in a bad relationship?
As that notion sinks in it starts to send judgement and criticism nastily into the scene; and things get worse.
This of course is when one or both may start thinking: “should I leave, or should I stay?”
When the the relationship has lost its affection and enjoyment, if nothing is done, disaster hits.
This begins setting the stage for dealing with relationship violence; whether verbal or physical, and usually both.
The ultimate reason for relationship breaks up is loss of love, and with that loss tension arises.
It is so accurate that love is the reason two people got into a relationship. Yes, in the very first place, but it likewise is the factor why couples wander apart.
(Here’s a related article that may help: It’s about can this marriage be saved? I mean, have you ever started seeing the danger signs in relationships and didn’t know what to do next?)
So, in the next section of this article, let’s look more at the abusive relationship, and what you may do.
Dealing with Relationship Violence: To Leave or Stay?
When you are in a healthy relationship, both individuals support each other. Oh, yes, wonderfully sharing the great times and assisting or supporting each other.
Even through the hard times with positive outlook.
It is genuinely worth all the effort since when you are in a good relationship, you feel great.
I mean all-around about your partner or, “Babe”, “Honey”, or “Sweetpea”; and you likewise feel good about yourself.
And you enjoy communicating with those fun and exciting ‘pet names.’
When there is violence, the relationship can become truly devastating. This, which can make it both physically and emotionally unsafe.
In some cases, violent relationships are simple to recognize since some of the abuse may be extremely subtle.
In basic, abusive relationships have a serious power imbalance. It’s with the abuser trying or pursuing to control most elements of life.
While seeming powerful, abusive individuals are typically really reliant upon their partners for their sense of self-esteem.
Sometimes they expect their partners to look after daily tasks which most adults handle on their own. Abusive partners typically feel helpless in the bigger world.
The relationship may be the only location where they feel a sense of power.
Assaulting their partner’s abilities or sense of self-regard is one way that abusive individuals preserve a sense of power, control, and esteem.
At a deep emotional level, abusers often feel that they are unsatisfactory, and they fear desertion.
By keeping their partners in a dependent or fearful state, they try to make sure that their partners will not leave them.
However, there are positive actions for dealing with relationship violence, such as:
- Maintaining other types of relationships and preventing isolation.
- Seeking “truth checks” by speaking to others if you presume that your partner has actually been abusive.
- Learning about resources readily available to people in abusive relationships.
- Identifying a “key location of security” you can go to in an emergency situation if your partner ends up being violent or threatening.
- Reading self-help books about unhealthy and healthy relationships.
Seeking expert counseling is always advisable. I know of many who have used this healing relationship therapy, even if the relationship breaks off.
It’s also great to begin talking to someone you trust to assist you sort through the problems. The troubles that may be keeping you in an abusive relationship.
Begin to establish a support group, so that if you are tempted to leave the relationship, you will not be alone.
Studies show that people with healthy relationships truly do have more happiness and less stress. Of course, than those in a violent relationship.
One ought to know that abuse and violence is not appropriate in any kind of relationship.
If you know from your inner heart to the core that you have to get out of the violent relationship, look for assistance.
Indeed, get some help and leave the relationship and re-ignite yourself and live your life!
Sometimes, violent relationships are easy to recognize. That’s because some of the abuse may be extremely subtle.
In general, dealing with relationship violence has a serious power imbalance. It’s the woman or man who is doing the abusing wanting to control the relationship.
Love is natural, and when we’re not open to this naturalness is when we only “sense” a loss of love.
But love cannot truly be lost; it simply becomes hidden or blocked by fear of some sort.
The Course in Miracles helps here with this spiritual metaphysical principle:
- “Love is not learned. Its meaning lies within itself. And learning ends when you have recognized all it is not. That is the interference; that is what needs to undone. Love is not learned, because there never was a time in which you knew it not.”
If a person made you feel inadequate, worthless and afraid then it already might be the time to escape the abusive relationship.
Research studies reveal that individuals with healthy relationships really do have more joy in life.
They have less tension and anxiety than those in an abusive relationship.
One must understand that dealing with relationship violence is not appropriate in any relationship issue.
If you understand from your naturalness that you have to get out of the unhealthy marriage, then seek help.
It’s alway best to look for aid and leave the relationship with a fresh new outlook on life.
(I also suggest another related article: Help for an unfulfilling marriage when you’re up against should I leave or stay when you see signs of a bad-relationship:)
To a life of happiness and success,
James Nussbaumer
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