The Ego and its Antics of Depression and Anxiety Setting You Back in Life

The ego only seems to be who we are, and works diligently to get us to identify with this false sense of self.

An aspect in we humans called the ego cannot reflect or extend so it makes projections and assumptions about past and future, and is afraid of the present moment.

The ego is an illusory thought system many of us rely on, but has no true force or power.

In book 1 of the series I tell the entire story…As I dived into A Course in Miracles and the more I got involved I knew there was no returning. 

(By the way, when you’re finished here I suggest this related article on when you think How to Change my Life, consider the law of attraction.) 

I would become unnerved easily and unsettled over simple sentences in the text that were totally opposite of what I’d been taught as a child. 

Wild dreams plagued me regularly at night, often scary and grotesque, with images that haunted me. 

One recurring nightmare in particular gave me images of a sea of floating heads, bobbing up against one another, frantically questioning one another over the predicament they were in. 

Depression and Anxiety can be Overcome

I needed desperately to get to the shore, but my rowboat would not budge any further, with wave after wave of floating heads banging against my boat, all crying out for help. 

They wanted me to help them.

It seemed I didn’t know what to do, and my only choice would be to get out of the boat and walk on top of the heads to the shore, which appeared to be miles away. 

For some reason I would always seem to come out of the dream just before stepping out of the boat. 

I would lose sleep trying to analyze it, and worry myself over it the next day. 

I could barely remember any meaning or plot to many of the other dreams, but it was clear they were frightening. 

Real Miracles are Yours, not the Ego

My ego was threatened as it felt itself slowing fading into the extending Light of my real Self. Yes, my real inner Self who brings my heart’s desires to reality!

A Course in Miracles states, “The ego in you will make by projection, but God creates by extension.”

In book 2 we learn more about…The ego was covering its eyes to the radiant glow the words from the text of A Course in Miracles were starting to extend into me.  Or, we could say the real me was overriding ego territory, and my ego was trying to order me to halt, or else.

But the real part of me was diving deeper.

Yes, and could care less about ego threats, and for that matter had no intention, or a single reason, to fight back. 

As I continued my journey absorbing the messages of Oneness, Truth, and forgiveness, the dreams the ego in me projected continued with more terrifying intensity. 

This was all happening while I was in the beginning years of my 10 year prison term over a foolish securities violation, and I was still trying to get through the depression and anxiety of that trauma itself.

I woke up one night in the wee hours of the volatile and often violent  din of the cell block, sat up on my top bunk in a cold sweat, and in the overcrowded prison dormitory, among 272 inmates, I screamed out, “Stop it now!” 

Within time the dreams became weaker and weaker and my depression and anxiety began to fade. 

I still to this day have some crazy dreams occasionally thanks to the ego, but now I simply see them as laughable and am able to dismiss them as the unreality they are.

As the ego fades your inner Self opens to real miracles in life.

But the ego aspect in me wasn’t giving up that easily. 

Next, and still with some but less depression and anxiety, now, and a foul attitude that seemed to sneak in, it seemed like I was attacking myself further. 

This is another reason why I strongly suggest you learn mindfulness meditation practices.

This would occur especially often following a few hours, or longer, of reading the text.  I felt waves of irritability, as though I was being antagonized. 

One particular section in A Course in Miracles showed me why I can never go deep enough, due to the boundary-less, infinite reality of which I am, along with all of the people I would meet or run into daily, even in prison, where egos are physically jailed. 

To question what is enough, or a limit to infinity, merely brings on more conflict. To let go of it directs you to miracle mindfulness.

Please note I suggest a related article about how to get rid of the ego and its antics so you may leave depression and anxiety behind you: 

To your ego-free Self,

James Nussbaumer

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