I was asked; how I was able to end the fear of those years being imprisoned and to explain feelings of living in fear? 

Again, I was kindly asked about when confused in life and what’s your purpose in this world, how do we dig in and seek a better life?

Someone else messaged me about the dream of life in this world when our Higher Awareness encourages us, and why is moving forward in life and to end fear so difficult.

I’ll start by saying here I share with you my journal notes from prison on how I was able to realize the meaning of true awareness.

It’s our truest extension of real Self that is the Spiritual Eyes. 

Keep in mind that the Course in Miracles teaches us: “Not to take the detour into fear.”

Again, how I dug deep to end the fear and begin moving forward in life is given you here as though I speaking to you from that time:          

Here at Hocking Prison there are seven times within a 24 hour day where prisoners are briefly identified. It’s a ‘count time’ and counted by the guards.

These “count times” officially make certain that all prisoners are alive without injury. Likewise, as well as, no escapes since the previous “count time”, had cleared.

At these particular times it is a highly strict rule that the prisoner occupy his bunk. Otherwise, charges of escape will be placed on that inmate.

One particular early morning at the time the guard counted his way to my bunk at the 4:00 AM count time, I was sleeping lightly while having a dream.

But part of me seemed to be awake, as I could sense his flashlight shine onto my face. It was while he counted and walked on by.

The dream seemed so real. So, and when I awoke a smile came over me knowing I’d learned something valuable.

My spiritual eyes that end the fear in my life was a revelation.

In this dream the guard doing the counting had nudged my shoulder to awaken me. Excitedly, only to tell me that I was being set free.

Before I could respond he gave me specific and firm instructions to get dressed. Then, gather my belongings, and report to the gate house on the opposite end of the prison.

This is where I would be officially offered my release.

I was surely confused because it was not yet my official release date.

In fact far from it.

This is why I asked the guard if he was certain it was me they wanted to see at the gate to freedom.

He assured me with a friendly smile that it was indeed my time to be released from prison.

Upon arriving at the main gate, I found that no one was present for me to report to. Or to give me details as to what was happening.

To try to end the fear I hollered out my name and inmate number, 542280.

I did so, in a firm, respectful manner, but there was not a single body in sight.

However, amazingly, one thing was certainly odd. I did notice that the gate to this entire double razor wired, fenced in prison, was wide open.

Also, completely unguarded.

I looked all around, half afraid that I might be guilty of something that may imprison me further.

Then, I anxiously stood at the open gate in awe, while the air of freedom breezed through my hair.

(Please note I also suggest another related article on: visualize the life you want, how to remove fear and combat anxiety in a metaphysical sense.) 

Of course, I didn’t know what was going to shake out as I was prepared to start moving forward in life and with my dreams.

I noticed the sun rising over the golf course across the street.

Oh my, and the morning’s dew glistened as it reflected the new morning’s sunlight on the carpet like grass.

To my surprise, there they all were.

It was my golf buddies from the Bud Shaw group, and the Cowboys, Ron, Jerry, and Tom.

Then there was the Lakeview Gang where with these guys we had several golf gut matches.

All of them were standing on the first tee box waiving me along to join them.

Big Bill yelled from across the street, “Jimbo, get over here, come on, we can’t have a game without you.

A “gut match” as Ron would call it, and it was “singin time” as Tom Hunt would put it, not to mention Dirty Mike calling it a “time to chirp”.

It was a golf match for true awareness of Heaven.

The guys were waiting for me to wake up and start swinging the club. There was nothing holding me back from crossing over the road.

As I began to step across I looked back over my shoulder and the sight of the prison was dim. Then my eyes teared up as it all faded away.

It was gone, a thing of the past, and seemed like a dream. But with an inspiration to begin moving forward in life.

Just then I sat up in my top bunk, awake, in prison, realizing it was a dream. Instantly, an awareness came over me that indeed I was already free.

Yes, and that my stay here in this prison system was only a temporary ordeal, so that my experiences somehow assist me with my life’s purpose.

I glanced at my watch hanging on the bed post, and realized it was only a few minutes past 4:00 AM.

This dream I just awoke from seemed to have been a much longer duration. But had only lasted a moment or so, an instant, and count time had just cleared.

I grabbed my radio and earbuds from my footlocker, feeling very well rested that would end the fear.

I was tuning into the all night jazz station, which would take me until the 6:00 AM lights on.

That’s when I went about my day in a direction that felt good.

There is no one or no-thing outside of you that is going to save you or forgive you or love you.

This is what we all must learn in order to end the fear, because it is the knowledge of Heaven.

It’s within us, and together is how we bring it forward in our minds, where we share the same ultimate purpose of re-awakening.

There is no curriculum, or special degrees you can earn to attain this knowledge.

But all along we’ve had this mad belief that knowledge is something “out there” we can strive after, or bring in to us.

This belief has cost humankind the real and true awareness of Heaven. This is why our own healing is so important. 

(Here’s an article to help us realize it’s okay to make mistakes: and not fear, because life is a learning experience, we better ourselves.) 

To you and a wonderful life without fear,

James Nussbaumer

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