Do you often feel imprisoned and wonder how to stop feeling like a victim or do you choose these thoughts of lack?
There is a belief much of the world has that they are helpless.
In his book, Your Erroneous Zones, author Wayne Dyer has written about “victim consciousness,” where basically we think the world, people, and economy, and more do things to us and that we have no choice but to accept the standard set by outside powers.
Okay, so let me add that I, too, let this world order of things try to change my thinking.
As the oldest of six children rose in a lower income but loving family, where both parents worked full-time jobs to give their children the best life possible, I believe that is what set the stage for my determination to be the best I could be.
I was always one of the smallest boys in school, and my father used sports to drive me above my littleness. To both our elation, I excelled.
Magnitude certainly took over where my own “victim consciousness,” or, littleness, thought it lived.
But I was also taught, as were my parents by their parents, and soon, that whatever happens to you as a child shapes your character and personality and governs your entire life.
Likewise, the limits and parameters of your life are set and basically you can’t do much about it. We grow into adulthood with this mindset.
In the year 2007 when I turned fifty, I was imprisoned into the Ohio prison system with inmate badge number 542280.
I experienced things that were so repugnant and grotesque to our normal decency that I shudder to repeat the details ever to anyone.
When family and friends have often asked me to describe prison, I simply tell them it is an ugly beast and a true hell, plus some.
It is what it is, so I chose to look inward about how to stop feeling like a victim.
One day near the beginning of my incarceration where I lived in a tiny cell for several months, clothed in rags and limited to a shower but twice per week, I became aware of my real freedom.
A lesson indeed would somehow be brought forward in my mind with inner vision.
I discovered a freedom that was beyond what the prison guards, ranking officers, and other staff, along with a full line of intimidation tactics and oppressive belittling and ridicule could take away from me.
They could control my entire environment, they could do whatever they wanted to do in abusing me, but I learned quickly that I was a self-aware being who was able to look on as an observer to my very involvement.
Within due time my real and basic identity was intact.
I could decide within myself how all of this was going to affect me.
I felt a victim of abusive behavior, but began to be the channel of thoughts that were sinking in.
(Here’s a related article on thought illumination as I ask to absorb: It’s about conscious steps that either illuminate or darken from one individual to another, which one of them is thinking real?)
So, How to Stop Feeling Like a Victim begins Within You
Later, but in due time, in the midst of my experiences not only with prison personnel and guards, I would learn to extend my thoughts to a different picture, one of writing about what I was learning.
Or, I’d prefer to look at it as rather than learning, what it was that was coming forward in my mind.
As I began gradually to put my thoughts onto paper I could see a book one day being published with all that I had to share.
As the author I’d see myself involved with speaking and lecturing to groups about this newly found consciousness.
The victim had faded away.
As time moved on for me behind bars, one thing led to another as they always do and I was seeing a clear picture, but with something missing.
It was a feeling of needing to touch something spiritually, but I didn’t know what it was.
There was a missing piece to the puzzle, my puzzling thoughts and perceptions about what I’d been puzzled about all my life?
This is the time when A Course in Miracles found me in prison. I get tears in my eyes and a dry throat every time I think back to when my eyes set sight on that old musty copy of this publication.
It was that little flicker of light that magnified and illuminated my path ahead, and it is why you now hold my books and read my articles.
Through a series of disciplines—mental, emotional, and moral—while enduring life for the time being behind bars, I began to change my mind.
As you get ready to exit this article keep in mind this spiritual principle from A Course in Miracles:
- A miracle is never lost. It may touch many people you have not even met, and produce undreamed of changes in situations of which you are not even aware.
The world was taking on a different look, one that no longer controlled me. how to stop feeling like a victim
I principally began using my memory and imagination.
Yes, inner vision until it grew larger and larger to where I had more freedom than my captors—state government employees, “state babies” is what they’d call themselves—who left their own prison each day to go home to another atmosphere.
They had more physical liberty, more options to choose from in their own environment, but I had more internal power to exercise the options I did have.
I’ll use the description “accessing the power-source within” only to lead you to its title, which is holiness.
Yes, and this holiness is how to stop feeling like a victim.
(I also must suggest another related article about inner vision: Yes, conquering your fear so you may strengthen yourself with soul and spiritual insight for moving your life forward.)