Is My Marriage Worth Saving and will Couples Therapy Work?

You know why I can answer is my marriage worth saving, because it it’s what you want then it certainly is?

Preparing through couples therapy is a positive process, I can now tell (at least most of the time) when a relationship is failing.

You begin the path to healing a relationship by looking at without judgement the root cause of a possible marriage failure.

That is the first mile of your journey with couples therapy for how to fix a failing relationship.

So let’s continue to answer, is my marriage worth saving?

Let’s see what you should you do and what you absolutely should NOT do.

This helpful article is a Guest Feature today by Lee H. Baucom Ph.D.

Dr. Baucom specializes in helping those who seriously want to learn how to save a failing relationship.

Here’s what he has to say about: is my marriage worth saving?

“Can you help?” he asked.

Before I tell you more about Tom, let me mention something else. It is always great trying something new.

I am now only a blue belt– just beyond white. I am beginning to understand the underlying processes and principles. That’s always my thing: pick apart the process, then apply it to the pieces.

“Tom” told me he “blew it.” He was calling to see if I could help him save his marriage, declaring that he had a chance, but he “blew it.” I asked what had happened.

Back to Tom calling me. He told me he had been following my podcasts … but even that was not clear … but he had certainly not followed my recommendations. Information is just that.

You are looking for a shift in your opponent. You have to be ready for that shift. Otherwise, that shift is likely to be your opponent gaining advantage.

Can this marriage be saved secret # 1 is this what you truly want?

Being on the bottom of the fight is not necessarily the worse place to be, and being on top is not the best place to be. They are just positions.

Is my marriage worth saving secret #2, space is important.

Mid-range is the strike zone.

If you aren’t familiar with jiu jitsu, it is a grappling martial art. If you’ve seen MMA, you have seen the jiu jitsu submissions.

Tom was honest. He wasn’t entirely clear on what he should do, but he was trying.

He changed his approach, tried to be a bit more connected and positive, even empathetic, and he gained some ground … and then he blew it … just as things were turning around.

Tom was not applying. He was not preparing.

Oh, and the first rule of fighting?? Avoid it at all costs. If it happens, know what you are doing.

Four times a week, I am hitting jiu jitsu class. No classes on Friday and Sunday, and I can’t make the class time on Wednesday, due to my coaching schedule.

Those secrets are important in a real fight. Jiu jitsu, especially at my stage, is preparing for a fight.

Why?

I asked, “Have you tried to work on the connection? You don’t wait for your spouse to do something.

In the midst of a grapple, I am already looking for a shift. A place I can get leverage … and capitalize on it.

(I also suggest another related article here on:  Save my Marriage Today review article and will it prove marriage help for you, whether catholic marriage help or other Christian marriage help or other belief systems.) 

Can this marriage be saved even if you’re not happy and feel lost?

Tom’s wife (and I think, soon-to-be-ex) said, “I told you I was not happy over a month ago. I told you that things needed to change.

For all your pleading and begging, for all your promises, I see nothing different.

I asked, “Have you worked on changing yourself? Because you don’t have to wait for that to ‘come up.’ You are always right there.”

Tom had a shift underway. He HAD NOT tried to shift the relationship. He HAD NOT capitalized on the shift.

Nope.

Hopefully, I will only apply those techniques in sporting situations, just to get some exercise.

I still practice the techniques, as if it is real (within reason, so that my partner is not really hurt– and I am not hurt). We practice, looking for the indicators and responding.

When things shifted, Tom was caught unprepared.

He was caught flat on his feet, and completely knocked over.

Those techniques are clear and specific, with many details.

Sure, I could decide to try to catch someone in a guillotine arm or choke lock in a real fight– just because I saw it in some MMA fight. It will likely be ineffective– or wrongly timed– if I do not prepare.

” I was waiting for the chance to come up,” he told me.

When Tom called, which is.

Nope.

Don’t be like Tom!

And while waiting for a shift … PREPARE for the shift! Don’t WAIT for a shift to try to figure out how to shift. PREPARE for the shift.

Here’s the thing: when I first walked into the jiu jitsu dojo, I could not make head or tails of the moves I was seeing.

Every arm placement, hand placement, leg placement, foot placement, hip shift, head position– all for an important and specific reason.

How about you?

The is my marriage worth saving system is waiting for you.

Just ask Tom.

Training is about preparing. Not waiting for a shift to happen, only to find that you weren’t prepared. Don’t be like Tom and wait until the chance has passed.

Prepare NOW, for when the chance does come.

Ready?

<“YES, DR. B., I AM READY TO TRAIN, PREPARE, AND MASTER! I’M IN! 

Alright.

I have the tools you need so you know HOW to respond.

I have the training you need, so you know WHEN to respond. And I have the help you need to train, while WAITING for the chance to respond.

Don’t be like Tom.

Are you ready to prepare and train, to be ready WHEN there is a shift?

<“YES, DR. B., I AM READY TO TRAIN, PREPARE, AND MASTER! I’M IN! (go here to grab the Save The Marriage System)>

This has already gone on way too long.

If not, let me invite you to the “dojo” of saving your marriage. Ready for the shift.

There IS a place to get yourself ready for the shift. You just need to start.

Can you tell when a shift is happening? Do you know what to do when there is a shift? Do you know what to do while waiting for a shift?

A shift WILL happen. The question is whether you are ready to respond and react, ready to capitalize … or if you will be like Tom. Don’t be like Tom.

Where is that dojo, that gym? My Save The Marriage System.

Ready?

Tom had a shift underway. And while waiting for a shift … PREPARE for the shift!

Don’t WAIT for a shift to try to figure out how to shift. PREPARE for the shift. Not waiting for a shift to happen, only to find that you weren’t prepared.

I hope you enjoyed and felt at ease with what Dr. Lee H. Baucom has to say. I mean it’s important to have the confidence for healing a broken relationship.

(Here’s another helpful related article on: There are no save marriage spells for how to fix a broken marriage, but there is action taking that has been proven:) 

To success in love and life,

James Nussbaumer

PS:  I invite you to sign up RIGHT HERE.  Or in the footer below for the EVERYDAY MIRACLES newsletter. It’s where we (you the reader, and I, the author) bring our mind together for self-success.

PPS. Welcome to my website. Please feel free to tool around through the menu and see what others are discovering!

Please Support My Work through GoFundMe: Many have benefited from this material and we are offering you access to so much.

And for a better life.

See more at the Home page or About/Books on my ever-developing series for having a better life.

I write as reflections of A Course in Miracles, or see the display at Ozark Mountain Publishing Co.

Please Support My Work through GoFundMe: Many have benefited from this material and we are offering you access to so much.

Visit the rest of my blog, self-help library, other articles. Also, webinars and lectures, and more, also for A Better Life Podcast.

By the way, if you’d like to get a copy of A Course in Miracles, hop over to the Self-Help Library page. 🙂

Thank you so much for your support!

Posted in Relationship Healing and tagged , , .