Even in the most successful relationships there is a balance of power in relationships. If one person has virtually all the power that creates an unhealthy dynamic, relationship healing will be necessary or the love relationship will begin fading away to its bitter end.

If a couple can learn a reflective state of mind, holiness, if you will, behind bodily form, the relationship will naturally build on a foundation set in rock instead of shaky sand. 

As unpleasant as it might be to confess, the balance of power in relationships typically revolves around who has the money.

If one person contributes more financially to the relationship in many cases they will be the one with the most power.

(By the way, after you finish here, I also suggest this related article on who we think we are is an interpretation, and what actually is an interpretation, anyway?)

The other person is often extremely unwilling to argue or disagree with the ‘powerful’ person.

Given that finding true love and how to have a good relationship needs to be more of an even partnership, this mis-match in power is rarely conducive to a stable, successful relationship.

Only in not-so-common of cases where the individual who has the financial stronghold, does not need to ‘use’ their power, can this type of dynamic work well for both people in the love relationship.

Truly How to have a Good Relationship

Much of the time it becomes an inferiority complex situation for one person in the relationship to seem like they ‘owe’ the other person something.

It’s far too simple to end up being a door mat because of this type of circumstance.

This power/inferior type situation between couples is what the Course in Miracles teaches to be the “special love relationship.”

We’re used to thinking that special indicates wonderful, but rather it truly defines separation. It is “special” in a sense that it is not whole because it is built on thoughts of separateness.

It will take a great deal of maturity for both parties to avoid falling into this trap.

You both need to be on the exact same page where power in relationships is concerned, to the way you see the successful relationship.

(Here’s a review article on how to begin fixing a broken relationship with love advice for inner healing.)  

What it really takes for Successful Relationships

If you talk to each other and talk about problems before going out, say, as example, making huge purchases or a huge decision on a matter, it’s normally best.

If one of you gets a new job in another town, or your career suddenly demands extensive travel, you owe it to your partner to talk to them about it.

See what they believe and do you have her/his support?

You should not simply presume that they can or will give up their career so that you can pursue yours.

This self-centeredness takes away from the holiness being the foundation of the love relationship built on the rock of wholeness.

The Course in Miracles says, “But remember this; the goal of holiness was set for your relationship, and not by you.”

Most of us intuitively, from the shared love within ourselves, understand these things and know that each of you does have some balance of power in relationships.

Exactly what many of us don’t do is to think of it in terms of our own relationship help.

Relationship Help is in the Power of ‘Oneness’

In order to develop a balance of power in relationships that works for both of you, the love that has you connected must mold your relationship.

This is what the Course in Miracles terms, the “holy relationship,” and states, “The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching accomplishment.”

Right from the start for how to have a good relationship, develop the kind of interconnectedness where both of your opinions matter.

Successful relationships need this oneness of heart and mind.

I mean it is where the two of you talk about things in a fully grown manner and agree as-one to all that we face in this world.

It’s constantly best to do that from the beginning because it’s much more difficult once the two you seem to be separate instead of whole.

Couples who do not have an excellent handle on the power in relationships are headed for needing much relationship help.

This is another reason why I urge mindfulness training, we may say, the couples that “meditate together heal together,” and here’s a review on that… 

Remember, finding true love and building successful relationships means a balance of power. The more at-one the balance of power is, the much better the relationship.

(I also suggest this related article about more on good relationship advice – say from the relationship hotline of your inner core.)  

To the healthy and holy relationship,

James Nussbaumer

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