Sometimes dealing with negative people amongst friends is something we must do. If you’re in a situation of dealing with difficult people, no one needs to remind you that sometimes they can spoil the fun in a given setting.
Negative friends can really change the weather if you allow them to have that power.
A few weeks ago on a sun-filled beautiful autumn day in Northeast Ohio, with the leaves turning and beaming in beautiful colors, I was playing golf among my old friends.
We’d played together often in the past on a regular basis, but with my recent travelling I’d missed out lately on our tooth and nail grudge and gut matches.
On that day one particular friend was extremely negative about individuals of the area, while according to him they are all “thieves and crooks.”
To make matters worse, he’d spout off in the middle of my backswing or when lining up a crucial putt.
When I hear him talking like this given that I have actually had really positive experiences with the individuals I have dealt with locally, now this makes me truly upset.
I find the locals to be very friendly, considerate and nice, and, so, we disagree on the facts.
What can I do about dealing with negative people like him was twirling in my mind.
What can you do when dealing with negative friends?
(By the way, here’s more on overcoming being complacent and not able to step out of your comfort zone can easily set you back without realizing it. After all, we’re humanly afraid of our limitless power within.)
Four Ways for Dealing with Difficult People
1.) Get Involved and be Particular
When somebody is on a rampage with unfavorable thinking they will typically generalize their declarations. It’s a reflection tactic to probe just a little and ask them to clarify their concerns.
For example, when dealing with negative people who complain and judge that “golfers are self-centered, selfish people,” you might want to ask this question:
Do you mean pro golfers or amateur golfers? Those who have marital problems or those golfers with happy relationships?
By doing this you can move the perspective of the negative friends from a generalized over-reaction to an extremely specific opinion.
This will relieve much of the ego-based wrong-mindedness and the strength of their outburst.
The Course in Miracles tells us this about the ego mind: “The ego may see some good, but never only good. That is why its perceptions are so variable.”
- 2.) Let Go of any Idea of Control
Let go of wishing to control the viewpoints when dealing with negative people no matter how unfavorable they are.
By all means talk with negative friends and utilize your persuasion abilities to help provide a more optimistic outlook.
Nevertheless keep in mind when dealing with difficult people that all people are entitled to be unfavorable, incorrect and inaccurate!
Once you accept this you will not get so stressed out about dealing with negativity.
When you stop attempting to change someone’s stance on an issue they can nearly sense that you accept them and so your words have more effect, and paradoxically.
(Here’s how having a positive attitude heals.)
- 3.) Choose Optimistic Outlook
When dealing with negative people sometimes the most convenient thing to do is to join in.
Otherwise discover methods to keep optimistic outlook. Look for the positives in the circumstance and point them out to individuals.
Ask yourself how you can use this chance to end up being much better.
- 4.) Don’t get Dragged Down
And refuse to get dragged down by others when dealing with difficult people, into the murky waters of the ego-based mind’s doubt, fear, and judgmental ways.
Having a positive mindset is in our power of choice even when those around you have slipped into ego-based drama.
The Course in Miracles teaches, “Do not nail yourself to a cross, and place a crown of thorns upon your head.”
Your Power of Choice for a Positive Mindset
Always remember when dealing with difficult people, that often a friendly thing you can do is join in on the conversation.
While doing so, engage with optimistic outlook as an avenue to lead the conversation down, thus keeping optimistic right-mindedness alive. Look for the positives in the situation and point them out to negative friends.
(Please note that I also suggest this related article about why consciously making new thoughts on life will script positive change in your world.)
To dealing with difficult people,
James Nussbaumer
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