How to find peace within yourself even when you’re always asking yourself things like, “What to do when you hate your life, or asking, “Why is this happening to me”, can feed a confused mind.

In my first book of the series, The Master of Everything: A Story of Mankind and the World of Illusion We Call Life, I told about it really isn’t that easy when the jail cell is only six feet wide.

I mean with a concrete bench about a foot from the floor that held a torn, thin foam mattress, or what was left of one.

If this were you, you’d find that the steel bars and concrete that surrounded me securely didn’t at all help me to answer how to find peace within yourself. Besides, being dressed in the rags they called an orange jumpsuit, I was not going anywhere.

A Course in Miracles teaches that, “Perception always involves some misuse of mind, because it brings the mind into areas of uncertainty.”

(By the way, without taking you away from here, later please see this related article about, leave it to the ego-based mind to help you make choices in life and the same mistake again…) 

A small window was positioned near the top of the high block walls within inches of the ceiling. That window reminded me of the window in the fruit cellar of the basement in my grandparents’ old house.

This, perhaps, you might say, would give a glimpse how to find peace within yourself.

I found that by lying on the floor and positioning my body against the wall of that cell, I could look up and through the window to see the sky, finding peace within.

My hopes were to try anything, however slight, to strap onto some sort of sanity of peace and harmony.

But my anxiety and depression, along with a confused mind told me there was nothing to see out that window anyway, and the numbness I felt only added to the confused void that held me about: why is this happening to me?

(I also feel this related article will help on how to hear from God by letting go of your inner critic.) 

What to do when you Hate your Life:

The jail cell was cold, and darkness was the view through the window, just as my depressed thinking said it would be. It was like; how to find peace within yourself?

Yes, later I’d learn more about the power of reflection.

But I did notice a hint of the glow from a nearby moon.

The noise around me, and up and down the long corridor of double bunked jail cells, was horrendous, louder than a crowd in a sold-out arena. But my numbness almost managed to block it out as I half-heartedly thought of ways to end my life.

A recurring set of thoughts that haunted me was, what to do when you hate your life, or, how can I live with myself?

Then suddenly I became aware of what an odd thought that really was: Am I seeking for and think I am finding peace within by trying to be one being, or two?

My supper of beans and rice on a plastic tray was slid into the cell through a slot in the bars at floor level. I left it untouched on the floor until lights out, like you’d perhaps think, “How to find peace within yourself.”

But when I awoke from a brief nap to clammy darkness, the guard came by to nab the food tray—well, at least I thought she did.

Can we begin Finding Peace Within?

The moon had changed positions and was now squarely framed in the tiny window, which my eyes grabbed onto in peace and harmony.

I now had a companion; that wonderful moon, and it remained in the window for what seemed to be a few hours.

Even after it moved its position, its glow was still apparent, with a backsplash of stars filling the sky.

I remember the calming, peaceful sight as I lay on the floor against the wall to gain the only available view.

Maybe, I’d relay this one day to people who are thinking, “How to find peace within yourself .”

With my body still numb, that sky seemed very friendly.

My mind would vacillate between “thinking” and “no-thinking,” or the “I” and “self.” My “no-thinking” was merely a fixed gaze through the window and into the sky, nothing more, but with thoughts of why is this happening to me.

The “thinking” part of me continued its questions on “how to live with myself,” or mostly like, how to find peace within yourself.

This side of me was getting weaker and more frightened as I began to recognize that there was nowhere as a body that I could go or hide to begin finding peace within.

The more I remained on the no-thinking side, the less fear I felt, and the more peace and harmony entered my psyche.

Then I remembered a thought, or a willingness, perhaps, which I had: to never feel the need to hide anything. It said to “let go” of whatever held me to the habitual thinking that had consumed me for so long.

More Peace and Harmony

I began having more thoughts, telling me that, although I was heading off to prison now, there was nothing to be afraid of.

But still there were sustaining fears and self-pity I could not get a grip on, such as, “Why is this happening to me?”, and “What is going to become of me?”

As I continued to focus through the window, an additional, brand-new thought came clearly through my mind: “Nothing you see from this jail cell means anything.”

It was my thought, my own, for sure; but I “heard” it as though it was talking to me.

Or maybe I can say it was thinking for me. This one thought persistently hounded me through my numbness.

By the way, for how to find peace within yourself is why I urge that you learn mindfulness meditation, and more on that here… 

My eyes opened widely as I suddenly realized the window was gone. It had simply vanished, along with the cell, the bars, the concrete floor, walls, and bench. The entire building was gone.

There was nothing, only me, now sitting up in an Indian-style position with arms crossed over my legs. I was still staring at the moon and stars and even noticed how calm I was, and yet amazed.

I thought, “Is this how to find peace within yourself?”

How can you Live with Yourself?

Next, the darkness of the sky faded quickly away.

Yes, I mean, no sky, but oddly all its glory, remained and had merged together, and I felt held by it. The stars had gathered into dense groups and attached themselves to the outer edges of the moon.

Now the moon was centered in an endless array of sparkling clusters, lighting up my view of the magnificent sight that welcomed me.

I looked down at my feet and legs, and they were gone too. I raised my hands and arms, and they were gone.

Since I had no hands to feel my face, I was convinced it no longer existed either.

My entire body was gone.

But I was still there; I existed, feeling a sensation all around me as the most peaceful I’ve ever experienced. It was like anyone can see how to find peace within yourself.

I thought to myself, How can I feel and see all this beauty and the light without having eyes to see with?

Why is this Happening to me?

Another sensation or thought entered my mind that said, “It’s okay, relax, you are already being taken care of.

Plans are made.

Things and events are being arranged at this moment, getting things ready for you. You’re going to do well.”

Next came a thought that told me all my errors were not real, so not to worry—that at that very moment from many places, forgiveness was shining on me.

It also said to “let go.”

The emptiness and numbness were gone, along with everything else that had faded away.

I’ve heard and read about people who have said they hear voices talking to them; for example, people who say, “God spoke to me.”

However, with me, here, this was not the case.

This was pure thought, rather than a voice. So pure of a thought that there was no doubting or questioning it whatsoever. So real that it is unexplainable, but is certain.

A thought with “no-thinking.”

I said to myself, “So this is what everything is all about. I am real, regardless of my body.”

I went on to consider that this is what the Bible really means by “There is no death,” and why Jesus demonstrated “There really is no death.” I had always felt deep down that I was fooling myself or allowing the world to fool me.

Later, I would study and find out for real that sensing your own eternal existence is how successful people think and what makes successful people grow.

Letting go of the Confused Mind

Now I was able to see how I had deprived myself by allowing my mind to buy into this “fire in hell” concept claimed by the world, and the devil below. There is no such thing.

A Course in Miracles states that, “Consciousness, the level of perception, was the first split introduced into the mind after the separation, making the mind a perceiver rather than a creator.”

Next, all of a sudden, the moon and stars grew so bright with light that my eyes blurred, watery with tears.

As I raised my hands to wipe them, I realized everything had reappeared as if nothing had ever happened.

I was sitting there, cross-legged, with all my body parts, and inside the jail cell.

What I experienced was not a dream and was real, however so brief—maybe an instant.

Time seemed to have suspended itself, so it didn’t matter how long the experience lasted. I looked up to see the tray of food was still there.

The guard had not yet picked it up.

You, as well as others, have had similar type experiences about how to find peace within yourself, perhaps only to quickly dismiss them as a daydream or your imagination running away.

Who knows how real your own experiences might have been?

One thing for sure that we do know, though, is that the world is always at our side, vigilant and ready to quickly dismiss them as fantasy or delusion.

(Please note, you may find this related article helpful on how to begin building a better future in 5 fearless easy steps: 

To making changes in your life,

James Nussbaumer

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