There is no correct or incorrect method for dealing with loss and grief, as long as you are not keeping yourself from healing.
It is okay at times to feel confused or lost about an event in your life, as well as asking yourself if you are dealing with despair from your spiritual inner Self.
Please keep in mind for facing adversity is why I urge you to seek out meditation exercises.
I previously discussed our misconceptions of sacrifice.
And, by the way, if you’re in a relationship struggle holding you back, I suggest good relationship advice – say from the relationship hotline of your inner core.
But for now let’s keep reading and learn more about loss and grief...
I came across a magazine article about dealing with loss and grief, by Arun Gandhi, the grandson of Mahatma Gandhi, which gave new meaning to me about what happens within us when our thoughts tell us we must sacrifice in order to gain.
If it had not been for racism and prejudice and the slave trading of history, we may not have had a Gandhi to teach us so much about dealing with loss and grief.
He may have been just another successful businessman or politician who could have eventually made a lot of money.
He was urged by many to pursue a business path, making the necessary sacrifices to become a business leader.
However, because of prejudice in South Africa, he was subjected to humiliation and dealing with loss and grief within a week of his arrival.
Have you ever felt that way?
I discussed in a previous book that he was thrown off a train because of the color of his skin, and it humiliated him so much that he sat on the platform of the station all night, wondering what he could do to gain justice.
He knew that in order to gain justice in his current frame of mind, he would have to make some sacrifices.
From his business perspective, he was aware of how he could get even for his having to be dealing with loss and grief.
His first thought was one of anger, as he contemplated some form of attack to gain revenge, and through his attack thoughts he was seeing justice served.
These thoughts were violent, but he stopped himself and said, “That’s not right either.”
He realized that all he would be doing was losing part of himself to such action. It might have made him feel good for the moment, but it really wasn’t going to win him justice.
His next thought was to go back to India and live among his people in dignity. He ruled that out also.
He thought that running away from his problems and dealing with loss and grief was not the thing to do, and would be a loss to his purpose for being in South Africa in the first place.
He looked inside himself for a peaceful resolution.
This is when he started to pursue nonviolent solutions for dealing with loss and grief , and he practiced it in his life as well as in his search for justice in South Africa.
He ended up staying in that country for twenty-two years, and then he went back to lead the movement in India.
I have seen over and over in my own life situations about dealing with loss and grief, where conflict leads to verbal or physical violence, resulting in loss.
A Course in Miracles teaches that the ego in us always seems to be a matter of who loses the most, with the winner ending up with more, and proudly assessing their own losses.
In concrete ego-based thinking it seems the harder the loss, the better the gain feels.
A Course in Miracles states, “Would you continue to give imagined power to these strange ideas of safety?”
When we are contemplating attack, the thought of some form of sacrifice is a key idea.
It is where all compromise plays its hand in desperate attempts to strike a bargain, and where all conflicts seem to achieve a balance.
The principle of attack seems to be for the ego that we must sacrifice in one area to gain in another: “Somebody must lose something,” is an aspect of our concrete thought system.
This is the focus of concrete thinking on the body and its attempt to limit loss.
Even with the experience of joy, the concrete brings sacrifice into play. For example, “What goes up must come down” is the concrete way of understanding that there must be “doom” around the corner.
Let go of the conflict within and your concrete views of life will fade away into the abstract—or we may say, our divine inner Self.
This Oneness within that is conflict free does not have “flip sides” to such ideas.
Here you realize that there is no such opposite to joy, peace, love, or oneness.
Consider learning more on living beyond your body – A Course in Miracles.