Overcoming Loss of a Loved One and Dealing with Grief among our Life Challenges

Overcoming loss of a loved one, a spouse, other family member, or friend surely is not an easy ordeal. When a spouse, or family member passes, or a tragic divorce or other relationship breakups, it can be a tremendous life challenge.

But I feel if we may look at loss as a process of life in this world, we can overcome any further confusion or shock that can lead to times of depression, anxiety, and loneliness.

Many of you have messaged me kindly asking to say a little more about the woman from Croatia, named Nakita, who somehow and for some reason, began writing me letters while I was in prison over that foolish securities violation.

In a previous article(s), I mentioned her being a student of A Course in Miracles, and at that point I had no clue how she’d found my address to begin corresponding to me.

I also added how I didn’t know whether or not to trust her, but as time went on I decided to be more open minded.

Dealing with Grief

Nakita shared with me briefly her story in the first letter.

And, I must say, she then expanded upon it with much more substance in her second letter, which included how she was miraculously led to A Course in Miracles

Her story is compelling. 

In the first paragraph she stated to me she was coping with loss through grief counseling, and her therapist suggested venting to someone she might trust over the loss of her husband.

She asked if I minded bending an ear through regular mail from her in Croatia, to me in an Ohio prison. After all, how could I not listen?

A Course in Miracles states, “The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching accomplishment.”

She said she looked up my court case on an internet site and realized how overtly political my case and prison term was. She went on to say how she felt she could trust me.

But, I still was questioning myself as to, “How in heck she found me and why did she choose to begin writing me?”

This, I must say, was a complete mystery to me, and she seemed to be holding off answering these mind boggling questions I had. She opened her heart to me saying how overcoming loss of a loved one is something she never faced before.

She wrote to me at length, but with no fancy exaggeration. 

This is why I say that her letter had substance. 

The forcefulness of her message about overcoming loss of a loved one left much room for descriptiveness, which I could read between her lines. 

I could sense her trying to translate from Croatian to English, and she wrote well-rounded portrayals of the scenes.  It was as though I could hear her accent in the words and in the spaces between them. 

(By the way when you’re done here, I suggest this related article on how to be happy again following a setback and how to stay happy.) 

Coping with Loss while Grieving

She began a story about an occurrence in her past. 

While I read her words about a pounding that came at the front door of the home she shared with her husband, Armand, which woke them abruptly in the wee hours one morning, I wondered why she was telling me all this. 

Surely it was extremely personal.

As Nakita approached to open the door, wearing only a housecoat and slippers, a team of masked men burst into their home with guns in hand.  Nakita was pushed forcefully to the floor at gunpoint. 

She cried out to please not shoot. 

She realized she and Armand were being robbed.  “Don’t kill me,” she frantically screamed.  With a gun aimed at her head she looked to her right and saw Armand charging into the room, waving a revolver. 

She heard a man shout, “Put the gun down!  Put the gun down!  Damn it, put the (frigging) gun down!” 

Her husband was killed instantly

Armand and Nakita had beautiful farmland in the mountainous region between the cities of Split and Rijeka

They owned over two hundred acres of breathtaking hills and dales, and now with her overcoming loss of a loved one she was lost. 

It was such prime land, the government had even offered to buy portions of it from them several times, to use for a future highway system. 

Armand had been a collector of rare coins, many of them gold, which were stolen when the masked men ransacked their home. 

The murderous men seemed to be Serbian. 

The Serbs and Croats were longtime enemies.  A group of Serbs was known to be moving through the area, outcasts from their own country.  There had been conflict in the region, the former Yugoslavia, for some years. 

Nakita said that when Serbs live in any area, or even just spend time there, they think it’s their own country and have total disregard for the laws of the land.  They will kill, steal, and just plain do as they wish. 

She was convinced the masked robbers and murderers were some of the rumored Serbian outcasts.  She mentioned the recent war among the Bosnians, Croats, and Serbs, which had left the area still unsettled, with hostility in the air. 

The details of the war are not my subject here.  I’m sure the internet can satisfy any curiosity or desire for further background you may have.

Remember, we humans when in touch with the light of spirit are naturally resilient, and many move on in life. But some simply cannot cope that easily, and it’s okay.

When overcoming loss of a loved one we should not be too shy about making life changes and seeking out grief counseling to get us back on our feet. See it as a true calling!

After all, A Course in Miracles states, “The journey that we undertake together is the exchange of dark for light.”

(Please note I also recommend this related article about tough times being overcome by your darkness disappearing by being of the Light.)  

To seeing the light when dealing with grief,

James Nussbaumer

PS:  Whether overcoming loss of a loved one, or any of our life challenges, I invite you to sign up for the EVERYDAY MIRACLES newsletter where we (you the reader, and I, the author) bring our mind together for self-success and a better world.


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